Blog - Ridiculous Infomercial Review

Fans of this site know that Santo Gold was the creative force behind an incredibly strange 1980’s infomercial that both sold a gold jewelry business opportunity and promoted a “space wrestling” movie called Blood Circus.

Better known is the musician Santogold (born Santi White) whose album made the Billboard charts this year.

It appears that the “original” Santo Gold, whose real name is Santo Victor Rigatuso, did not think that imitation was the sincerest form of flattery. On June 17, 2008, Rigatuso filed suit in US Southern District Court of New York to prevent Santi White from using the name Santogold.

The website Stereogum has this very informative post about the Santo Gold lawsuit. (Funniest line: “I think we can all agree it’s definitely Santogold that is the biggest obstacle to Santo Gold’s future in entertainment.”) The post says the information comes from a 20 page complaint from the Lustigman Firm, P.C.

You might also want to read this post from ChartAttack.

Also there is a poorly written press release about the Santo Gold suit floating around the Web. The press release doesn’t indicate who released it or provide contact information—which is kind of the whole point of a press release!

We will try to keep you informed on the progress of this monumental event in entertainment law. I just hope that members of the jury will be given free scream bags.

Also, Rigatuso has put out a song called “I am the Real Santo Gold.” The following video shows 17 seconds of the movie Blood Circus before proceeding with the song:

It looks like someone’s pissed about his name being stolen!

Frankly, I wish Rigatuso would forget about the lawsuit and about making music and instead work to get the movie Blood Circus properly released and distributed on DVD! There is A LOT of pent up demand from people who have heard about Blood Circus for 20 years and are dying to see it for themselves. I think a company like Something Weird Video would be very interested in properly manufacturing and promoting a film like Blood Circus. It would be a (wrestling) match made in heaven!

Chic Shaper is a product that is worn under the bra so that a woman can fool people into thinking she has larger breasts. The infomercial for Chic Shaper pretends that it is taking place during some sort of a photo shoot where all the models are wearing Chic Shaper.

Host Mindy McCortney says, “I have been noticing a lot of flirting going on on this set.” Unfortunately, I think most of the flirting is taking place between the male wardrobe consultants and the male hairdressers.

Just as the infomercial for the Alzare male enhancement product insists that larger genitals provide instant confidence for men, the Chic Shaper infomercial proclaims that a larger bust provides greater confidence for women—which I guess means Dolly Parton and Pamela Andersen are among the most confident females on planet Earth.

This infomercial declares that the ChicShaper product provides a “youthful silhouette”—which is a very interesting euphemism for “it prevents your sagging boobs from hitting the floor.”

The Chic Shaper infomercial also tells us that the product provides improved posture. So ladies, if you try the Chic Shaper and some creepy guy starts staring at your chest and breathing heavily, you can be confident that he is admiring your “great posture.”

They also proclaim that Chic Shaper will become “Your bra’s new best friend”—and your bra really needs a friend, considering how your husband or boyfriend is always trying to tear it off!

The commercial for Cash4Gold.com seems to be all over TV these days. Cash 4 Gold is a service that allows people to mail in their scrap gold jewelry—rings, necklaces, earrings, etc—and get paid for it. Here’s the ad:

Some comments:

Cash4Gold made a bold decision to use a transsexual to give a testimonial. I think that guy is going to star in the remake of Tootsie.

Every time I see that brunette woman who says, “I sent in my diamond wedding band from my first marriage and got money the very next day” I get a strong hunch that her first husband was Vince from ShamWow.

I recently wrote about the trend of infomercials displaying gratuitous cleavage. One commercial, however, shoves breasts in the face of TV viewers, and it’s not gratuitous at all!

The commercial advertises a product called Easy Curves. Easy Curves is a piece of exercise equipment that is supposed to work the muscles underneath the breasts for a larger bust line. Check it out:

Wow. Even in the Shortcuts to Internet Millions infomercial we never get to see breasts in that kind of motion. (Of course with the amount of silicone pumped into Tina Milano and Kelly Britz, I doubt anyone ever gets to see those things in motion.)

In case you missed it, here’s the “money shot” of the Easy Curves commercial:

If a woman uses Easy Curves in front of a guy it will probably turn him on even if it doesn’t actually increase the size of her breasts.

At only $9.99, EasyCurves is one of those products that is cheap enough to try even if you really believe it’s a scam that’s not going to work at all! (Just make sure you have enough room in your closet next to your old Suzanne Somers Thigh Master.)

Have you seen the TV commercial for the ShamWow cloths? Check it out:

This ShamWow ad has to be one of the most annoying commercials to air on TV in a long time, but I’m not exactly sure what is so damn annoying about it.

Is it the overall cheapness of the production? It’s pretty much just a guy standing in front of a screen and behind a tabletop.

Is it the way Vince reminds you of the barkers at the county fair trying to amaze you with their product demos while you gnash on a corn dog en route to the Ferris wheel?

Is it because Vince is a scrawny twerp with a faux-hawk?

Is it that pretentious headset microphone?

Is it when Vince says, “Ya following me, camera guy?”

Is it Vince’s (New Jersey? Long Island?) accent?

The ShamWow commercial is like a bad song you hate but that you just can’t get out of your head!