Blog - Ridiculous Infomercial Review

After seeing the commercial for the Notebook Buffer, I finally understand why those plutonium-power laptops never caught on:

Is that chick in the bikini who says, “My legs are so hot!” complaining or bragging?

If you think the only way to cool your computer is to fling it into the nearest swimming pool, then you should probably give NotebookBuffer a try.

I’ve used a laptop computer, and after using it for a while it might feel a little warm on my thighs, which can be mildly annoying on a hot day. So where have the people in the Notebook Buffer commercial been buying these blazing computers that cause them physical pain?

If some guy from Uzbekistan tries to sell you a notebook computer from among various merchandise piled in the back of his rusty station wagon, please do yourself a favor and refrain from purchasing.

The old Cash4Gold.com commercial that was once so ubiquitous on American television has made its way across the pond. Actually, they remade the ad for the British audience:

As you can see, the scripted testimonials mostly copy the classic Cash4Gold.com TV spot:

I’m glad to see that the UK version still has a gold digger in it. (“I sent in my diamond wedding band from my first marriage and got more money back than I could ever have imagined.”) Although I don’t think this one compares to the black-haired woman with the East Coast accent.

The pub crawler with a pint of Guinness giving away his gold chains to get money for a “European away game” is a nice example of localization (although it would have been more effective if they guy was more like Ali G).

I am, however, disappointed that they did not include an old transsexual, as in the American version. Quite surprising, considering the long and hallowed tradition of cross-dressing in English comedy.

Perhaps the Australian edition will feature a testimonial from Dame Edna Everage.

The latest product to cash in for the market for the Snuggie Blanket with Sleeves is a product called the Cozy Caftan:

You have to admire the bravado of the producers to make the “high fashion look” of the Cozy Caftan its main selling point.

I especially like the scene where the man starts seductively rubbing the woman shoulders. “He’ll love how it feels as much as you do.” Forget ExtenZe, wearing Cozy Caftan is the real way to turn a man on. After all, what red-blooded male wouldn’t be turned on by Mrs. Roper:

In my first post about the Snuggie infomercial, I wrote about the utter stupidity of suggesting that it should be worn outside. The Cozy Caftan commercial makes that same pitch—“Because it’s so stylish Cozy Caftan is perfect for indoors or out.”—and frankly it looks just about as stupid:

This ad constantly hard-sells the Cozy Caftan as stylish, yet we can see the thing is just a fleece muumuu. There may never have been an infomercial with a bigger disconnect between what the narrator says what appears on screen.

Still, I can’t wait to see how they try to sell the Cozy Caftan for Dogs™.

It’s not just Joe Fowler and Bruce Singer who are trying to be Billy Mays. This Halloween lots of people decided to go as the late, great infomercial star:

There were even people who imagined that the grave wasn’t strong enough to hold newly deceased pitchman and went as “Zombie Billy Mays”

Billy’s Oxiclean here is helpful in getting blood stains and brain matter out of his clothes.

Hat Tip: Unreality Magazine which you should really check out to see lots of other fun “only in 2009” Halloween costumes such as Balloon Boy, Octomom, and the Money You Could Be Saving with Geico

I’m a little surprised no Snuggie-based costumes made the list.

No reports yet of any trick-or-treater going as Vince from Shamwow or his hooker.

A few days ago I asked if Joe Fowler on the Gator Grip infomercial was trying to act like Billy Mays. Well, here’s a guy named Bruce Singer who seems to be doing the same thing on the TV commercial for Twist N Stay:

Actually, Bruce Singer seems like some sort of a cross between Billy Mays and Vince “ShamWow” Offer. He has the blue shirt and the shouting like Billy Mays. But his accent sounds more like Vince Offer/Shlomi. And when Bruce tosses the Twist N Stays over his shoulder it is reminiscent of Vince doing the same thing in the Slap Chop commercial.

Bruce’s awkward posture and the way he stands waaaay too close to the camera make me somewhat uncomfortable.

On an unrelated note, I think the groan at 0:19 was lifted from some hardcore porn video—and of course the Twist N Stay product itself might star in such a video in the near future.