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StretchKins: Wearable Animal Carcasses that Encourage Kids to Exercise

Having recently reviewed 10 infomercials selling stuffed animals over the course of three separate blog posts, I really did not want to write about any kiddie stuffed animal products for a long, long time. But then I saw the commercial for StretchKins—wearable stuffed animals that double as resistance bands—and decided it was too bizarre to not tell everyone about:

Seeing those kids wearing the body of an animal like some sort of suit calls to mind the ghoulish sartorial preferences of Ed Gein or Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Once your kids become acclimated to wearing StretchKins, they will soon find themselves dissatisfied with a mere stuffed animal and will demand to put on the real thing, which will do much to get fresh road kill off the streets.

One wonders just how much time those poor StretchKins animals had to spend on the rack to give them such freakishly long arms and legs.

Most of the StretchKins infomercial looks like a really cheap version of those old Sid and Marty Krofft Saturday morning shows from the 1970s.

Even if they don’t convince your kids to exercise, StretchKins will be an invaluable aid to any parent who wants to introduce their children to the furry lifestyle.

Comments

  • 17 Responses to “StretchKins: Wearable Animal Carcasses that Encourage Kids to Exercise”

  • Are we so desperate to find decent toys for our children and there are NONE to be found that we buy this CRAP?!

    Comment by Jennifer on May 31, 2013 at 11:44 am

  • Okay. All the things you said is 100% not true. You see that girl that’s always in the yellow shirt and always doing gymnastics ballet and cheer leading? Yeah that girl is me. If criticize this one more time ill call the company and tell them to sue you. If you don’t change it.

    Comment by Alissa Gurevich on May 31, 2013 at 12:45 pm

  • Yeah, Paul, take this post down. You’re not allowed to criticize things on the internet because that’s like illegal and stuff!

    Comment by Kyla on June 1, 2013 at 11:15 pm

  • I’m willing to ignore the weirdness of the product…because the person singing the jingle on this ad is slightly off-beat and it’s distracting. The jingle itself isn’t even catchy.

    Comment by Jordi on June 2, 2013 at 12:23 am

  • @Alissa Gurevich

    sue him? the point of this website is to MAKE FUN of weird commercials, unless your too lazy to read any description.

    “Infomercial Hell has fun with some of the most laughable infomercials ever broadcast. This site does not review products and neither endorses nor condemns any of the products sold on the infomercials.” so what you dont like his review? ITS AN OPINION! cant sue someone for that. plus people on youtube say things 10 times as hurtful things.

    Comment by Andrew Gonzalez on June 2, 2013 at 5:59 am

  • Wow! I actually love it… I can’t get the stupid song out of my head. Very funny idea.

    Comment by Amy on June 2, 2013 at 12:19 pm

  • Oh, man. These are totally ripped from a toy I had back in the early 90s. It was a really creepy doll with springy limbs that you’d attach to your feet and hands, then she’d “dance” with you.
    It was creepy then, it’s creepy now.

    Comment by Nargles on June 4, 2013 at 1:59 pm

  • I imagine Paul is an affiliate. I mean, who has time to sit around, take pics of commercials, pull and post videos, etc. without a job? Paul, tell us, do you just milk a huge affiliate payout from one of your other sites, this one or off of links from this one to affiliates? Come on, come clean. BTW, Stretchkins is a neat item. You are unecessarily being a jerk here.

    Comment by TV Guy on June 10, 2013 at 2:02 pm

  • Omg they Are the creepiest things I have ever seen. Hysterical to think someone actually paid for that ad!!

    Comment by Jujubee on June 11, 2013 at 3:50 pm

  • Threatened by jokes much, TV Guy?

    Comment by Brian on June 11, 2013 at 4:33 pm

  • Jeez, TV Guy. Sounds like you’re some kind of slow witted moron and just can’t fathom how a reasonably intelligent person can hold down a real job, watch a two to three minute commercials in their off time, take three screen grabs and write a few paragraphs on why (s)he thought it was funny. Even if you’re a moron, that takes two hours – tops.

    And this commercial and product blows hard. The only ones being jerky are you and that supposed kid who tried to rule the internet.

    Comment by Kyla on June 14, 2013 at 10:28 pm

  • Kyla, you rule! I have been watching this post because I am so insulted by these kind of commercials and products. I’m sure no one has ordered these stupid items. Maybe the genius makers thought if we make the product soooo dumb and the commercial an insult to intelligent people with money to buy it…it would become a joke and people would buy it as a joke for white elephant parties or gag gifts. But that’s been done before and we’re all wiser to that game.

    Comment by Jujubee on June 15, 2013 at 5:53 am

  • Very Cool! You can dance, play and have fun with these amazing new Stuffed Animal puppets.

    I never saw such a useful toy item!

    Comment by Mark Worksman on July 1, 2013 at 10:54 am

  • Just the creepiest things. Disturbing, really.

    Comment by Tiffany Diener on July 7, 2013 at 6:18 pm

  • I cannot wait to purchase this product for my 4 year old daughter. We went over to have a playdate with my friend’s daughter and they were taking turns playing with it. What a brilliant idea. This would be a great idea for a themed birthday party.

    Comment by Jackie on July 15, 2013 at 12:18 pm

  • UGH, I try to turn the channel whenever this commercial comes on (and every other Made For TV toy). Kids are so vulnerable to a cheesy jingle and a gimmicky toy. Light up stuffed animals, deflated stuffed animals you can SHOVE your crap into, animals hats with ears that flap, animal shoes with flappy things, animals that convert from pillow to pet… followed by screams of “I WANT THAT! MOMMY I WANT THAT! CAN I HAVE THAT, MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!”
    I tell them no, they break easily and are too expensive. You would just cry, I tell them.

    Comment by jezebel on November 18, 2013 at 6:13 am

  • Bought one for each grandson. Seam ripped on first stretch on both of them.

    Comment by Sad Grandma on May 13, 2015 at 4:59 am

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