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Pen-brella Combines a Pen with an Oversized Cocktail Umbrella

Have you deeply offended Tlaloc, the Aztec rain god, who might unleash the full measure of his fury with a sudden torrential downpour? Be prepared for this watery wrath to rain down upon you at any time with Pen-brella, an umbrella that fits inside of a pen:

“You’ll never be caught without an umbrella again because most of us carry a pen all of the time,” the Pen-brella infomercial blithely assures us. Yes, most of us do carry a pen with us—but the pen is usually not the size of a Bavarian bratwurst.

“Is that a Pen-brella in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

As for Penbrella’s umbrella, the flimsy material and very slight handle don’t instill confidence that they could be of much help against the monsoon-like wind and rain depicted (on green screens) in the commercial. Its small circumference might keep your head from getting wet but doesn’t look like it would do much for the rest of you. On the other hand, Penbrella would make an excellent oversized cocktail umbrella to stick in a bowl of rum-soaked tropical punch!

Much harder to justify than the product itself are the odd scenes in which the infomercial shows Pen-brella in use, most notably this one:

We see a woman wearing a white veil…so this must have been a wedding. And there is a bagpipe player standing behind her…so this must have been a Scottish wedding. And the man next to her is dressed like Austin Powers…so this must have been an Austin Powers-themed Scottish wedding that Pen-brella saved from a sudden snowstorm.

…But a later shot shows that the woman is wearing a black dress:

Now everything makes sense. This is a bride-to-be leaving her bachelorette party at a Scottish male strip club for a final night of abandon with a stripper dressed as Austin Powers.

And both of them had Pen-brellas.

Less convoluted but equally curious is this scene:

Why is this man standing in the middle of a field reading in the rain? Why is he wearing sunglasses during a storm? And why do I get the distinct feeling that the book is either Naked Lunch or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?


A Category 5 thank you to reader George for letting us know about the Pen-brella infomercial!

Comments

  • 25 Responses to “Pen-brella Combines a Pen with an Oversized Cocktail Umbrella”

  • Why does the woman protecting her hairdo walk like a giant Muppet?

    Comment by bookendz on April 29, 2013 at 9:31 pm

  • The first woman on the video already has a jacket with a hood. What good would that tiny umbrella do her?

    Comment by euGene on April 30, 2013 at 11:14 am

  • Pen-brella: Too big for a pen, too small for an umbrella.

    Comment by Joren Cull on April 30, 2013 at 1:31 pm

  • The comments have been made by people who have not seen the penbrella. The pen is indeed pocket size and slightly wide bodied, less than 0.75 inches outer diameter and less than 6.5 inches in length (only the pen). There are much wide bodied pen that people do carry with them, though not everybody. Wide bodied pens give a better grip as people ages. The umbrella inside the pen is 24 inches wide when unfolded, enough to cover your head and shoulder. This umbrella is not to replace your normal umbrella. Its purpose is to help everybody including you, the commentators, who have many normal umbrellas but not one in your hand during sudden rain and snow (as an example) when you are coming out from a store to go to your car. Since most people and ladies do carry a pen, they have an emergency umbrella 24/7 with them in this penbrella. Once you go inside your car, then just use your normal umbrella as you get out, etc. This penbrella is designed to keep an umbrella with you 24/7. If you expect the penbrella to be made of thicker shaft, 36 inch diameter, etc., etc, then what is the poin? This is an American patented product, an American innovation and made extremely well and durable. Criticism is fine but please at least touch the product and then appreciate the American ingenuity.
    Rgrds

    Comment by Ashoke Banerjee on May 1, 2013 at 7:16 am

  • Ashoke is very defensive about his product. On youtube he also doesn’t react well to people criticizing his product. I think its obvious to everybody but him that this product is a piece of garbage. It also doesn’t help that the commercial is so badly made. I especially love the Michael Cera look-alike and the lady with the “new” hairdo shuffling from across the screen. Truly a product and a commercial made in infomercial heaven !

    Comment by George O. on May 9, 2013 at 5:23 pm

  • Once again: The purpose of this innovation is to solve an American problem: People have many umbrellas but they do not have one when it starts to rain and snow suddenly and to adress people loosing umbrellas all the time.

    This innovated product forces you to keep an umbrella with you 24/7 since it is inside an actual writing pen almost normal size. And you will never loose it.

    It is not meant for you to walk around in rain and snow all the time. It is meant to protect your hairdo and your head/shoulder during sudden rain and snow when you are in the shopping mall etc., trying to come to your car, etc. when you do not have your normal umbrella with you.

    To call this product a garbage without touching and buying it would be equivalent to calling your spare mini-tire a garbage.

    The canopy is 24 inches in diameter.

    The commercial scenes, etc. has only one purpose: Remind the World that not only we can land robots on Mars and beyond, we can also make innovative plastic products and beat China with our innovation even in plastic products.

    Regards

    Comment by Ashoke Banerjee on May 12, 2013 at 11:53 am

  • Ashoke,
    Are you unaware that regular stores sell mini umbrellas for a mere $6? They’re nearly exact same size as this pen thingamabob but actually cover more than someone’s head because, shockingly, most people don’t want a dry head and soaking wet clothing. I know umbrellas used to be monstrous back in the 1920s but you probably should have researched the advances in umbrella technology before inventing this. And honestly, if someone is too lazy to carry a mini umbrella around, odds are good they’re too lazy to carry around a gigantic pen. Adults generally don’t write with large writing utensils anyway.

    Also, that commercial is just terrible. Showing an old woman walking around in a violent electrical storm with what amounts to a lightening rod above her head is just irresponsible.

    Comment by Kyla on May 15, 2013 at 12:54 am

  • Kyla,

    Mini umbrellas can be purchased anywhere from $1.00 to $25 or more, and it could also be the same umbrella depending on where you buy it from. So, you can’t put just a single price of $6.00. 2ndly, as I have stated clearly that this is not an umbrella for you to walk around under rain and snow just for the heck of it to prove that lower part of your clothing will get wet. Rains and snow do not fall vertically and even the largest personal umbrella will also get your lower body wet. I am sure you are aware of it, but ignore to point it out. Once again, I do not have to know you, but I can safely say that you yourself have faced an equivalent situation many times (and you will continue to face it also many times in future) whereby you trying to go to your car from some store, etc. or from store to your car, etc. when it suddenly started to rain and you do not have an umbrella right in your hand regardless how many umbrellas you have it home, office, etc. Since most people and ladies carry a writing pen with them at all time like their driver license with them, you pull this umbrella from inside your pen and make the short walk to a store from your car or from store to your car, covering your head and shoulder. Women spend a lot of money on their hairdo and they don’t want a single snow flake on their hair going from their car to office, etc. when it starts raining or snowing suddenly.

    The largest outside diameter of the pen does not exceed 0.75 inch and the length of the pen also does not exceed 6.5 inches.

    This World is a big place and I am even surprised that you seem to have figured out that adults don’t like to use wide bodied pen to write with. Also, I will like to help you not waste your time googling the internet that there are other umbrellas same mini size as mine, etc. Until a new invention comes up, this umbrella inside the pen with its canopy diameter of 24 inch is the World’s most compact umbrella.

    You are so wrong to state that lazy people do not carry can umbrella. People, even the most active ones, do not carry an umbrella all the time because so-called normal umbrellas are bulky and people would be crazy to carry a normal umbrella with them to be prepared for mother nature to suddenly start raining and snowing since mother nature is mother nature. Please answer me how many times you have yourself got caught off guard without your own umbrella?

    People who carry a pen with them automatically have an umbrella forced on them 24/7 through the penbrella. As I said, purpose of this penbrella was to solve an American problem that people don’t usually have an umbrella with them when it starts to rain and snow suddenly regardless how many they have. And this American patented product solves such American problem for all generations to come. I suggest that you gift one to your other half and see the smile you bring.

    Rgrds

    Ashoke

    Comment by Ashoke Banerjee on May 15, 2013 at 12:19 pm

  • Until someone comes up with an i-Umbrella, I’m not interested. “It’s an iPhone…and an Umbrella!

    Comment by Brian M on May 15, 2013 at 1:01 pm

  • …”most people and ladies”??
    Really?

    Comment by Julie on May 27, 2013 at 11:38 am

  • “Please answer me how many times you have yourself got caught off guard without your own umbrella?”

    Zero. I watch the weather, have a weather app on my phone and keep an umbrella in my car, in my purse and have one that I had surgically implanted into my hand. There is no catching me “off guard”.

    You’re also making this whole getting caught in the rain thing a little more serious than it is. It’s water from the sky, not an attack from enemy aircraft.

    Comment by Kyla on May 28, 2013 at 9:32 pm

  • You definitely deserve a free pen-brella to convince you of this amazing American invention. When you look at it, don’t cry and dont be emotional.Its such a beauty. Just appreciate this marvellous beauty. Just pay the shipping. Please tell me the address where I should send you one and an email address so that I can tell you how to pay the shipping charge.

    Comment by Ashoke Banerjee on May 31, 2013 at 12:40 pm

  • Please don’t stop posting, Ashoke, your comments are hilarious. Keep telling us about how American your penbrella is and how it will help the uniquely American problem of not being waterproof and also how people (AND ladies) carry pens and that American women are obsessed with their American hair…in America.

    Comment by Grackle on June 2, 2013 at 8:45 pm

  • Hi Grackle,when arrived in your country, I quickly realised that America has a problem. They have many umbrellas but not one in their hand when it starts to suddenly rain or snow. American woman pay a lot of money for their beautiful hairdo and I watched sadly how snow destroys their hairdo even just to go from their car to their office, etc. What a waste! I really wanted to solve the American problem so that they would have an umbrella on them at all time without even knowing that they have it with them. Furthermore, the solution must be uniquely American so that everybody would breathe a sigh of relief. This innovation was possible becuz America gave me the know-how. Not even that, the additional beauty is that even in plastic simple product, we can beat China who takes our money and jobs away by flodding us with garbage. If you hold this beauty in your hand, you will be drawn by your fascination and passion to keep it opening and closing repeatedly even while you are inside your house. Its such a beauty, you get so emotional on this cutee. But I am still saddened when I see orders specially from Holywood actresses who would just buy two at a time but have me ship those Federal Express. I wish they would ask only normal shipping and not waste so much money on Federal Express.

    Comment by Ashoke Banerjee on June 3, 2013 at 8:44 am

  • The Penbrella commercial was shown on the Ellen Degeneres show.

    Comment by bookendz on June 10, 2013 at 2:50 pm

  • I was so shocked when I read Ashoke’s latest comment this morning that I nearly dropped the expensive diamonds and rubies I was putting in my hairdo. Clearly, Ashoke has not done adequate marketing research. In America, ladies (and people) do not open their umbrellas indoors. It is bad luck.

    You might try marketing these to wicked witches (mostly ladies) who live in fear of getting wet, which causes them to melt and presumably die. Witches also use pens to write down new potion recipes and spells, plans for nefarious schemes, etc. You would really be helping them out.

    Comment by Julie on June 10, 2013 at 4:47 pm

  • Hi Julie, my purpose was to address an age-old unsolved American problem which I witnessed three and a half score ago soon after coming to this great country: how to protect the beautiful and expensive hairdo of American women from the snowflakes and rain when you don’t have your Chinese umbrella (or rather bulk-brella) right in your hand during sudden rain and snow and how to make American people rainproof 24/7 despite the fact that you have so many Chinese made bulk-brella that are never in your hand when you need it during sudden rain. So, I came out with this all American product: umbrella inside a writing pen or famously the American pen-brella which you carry in your handbag or pocket all the time to protect your expensive hairdo and also waterproof you simultaneously. But now I see that American mothers have also discovered a new use: they put this beauty in kid’s backpack and breathing a sigh of relief knowing that the children are also waterproof 24/7.
    The wicked witches of the East and West only use black umbrella and they do not know American pen-brella. Furthermore, these beautiful pen-brella only comes in beautiful design and colors including pink and red which are the colors preferred by the good witches of the north and south. As such, it is spell proof. I would be willing to gift you one free to keep your spirits high. This beauty is like a Rolls Royce. When you come back home in your Rolls Royce, you just want to keep sitting inside your car in your own driveway not wanting to come out wondering about the beauty of the car and don’t want to get out. This American pen-brella is similarly such a beauty that you keep wondering opening and closing it repeatedly.

    Comment by Ashoke Banerjee on June 10, 2013 at 8:58 pm

  • America this, America that, AMERICA AMERICA AMERICA. You do realize that the USA isn’t the centre of the universe right? There are other countries (what a shocker!) in this world. If anything, this product looks incredibly flimsy, and would be no better than a cheap Chinese-made umbrella that you can find at a dollar store.

    Comment by James on June 16, 2013 at 9:50 pm

  • Except for about two billion people at the most, the remaining 4 billion people belonging to many countries including some from Asia, Europe, South America, Africa, middle East would love to move here permanently at the first opportunity. Why?

    Dollar store umbrellas are just that. I would be glad to give you a free sample so that you can decide for yourself its trmendous convenience. Just pay a small shipping.

    Regards

    Comment by Ashoke Banerjee on June 17, 2013 at 7:31 am

  • I really want to know more about your background Ashoke. Where are you from?
    When did you come to the US? What jobs have you had before you came up with this incredible invention? Do you have any other ideas for more products? What other “American” problems will solve in the near future? Please let us know.

    Comment by George O. on July 5, 2013 at 7:05 pm

  • This is absolutely surreal. I’ve never seen such a heated discussion with an actual product creator on IH before. I half-expected it to be an umbrella made out of pens… like some sort of recycling initiative gone wrong. And you just pluck one off whenever you need to write something down. Now that’s brilliant.

    Even more brilliant would be an umbrella made out of penbrellas that are also made out of pens. Good think I have Leonardo Dicaprio on speed dial.

    Comment by Andrew P on July 6, 2013 at 3:23 am

  • Hi George,

    I am from the pale blue dot, made famous by Carl Sagan. Please read that article. I am also from the same country which one great general presented to the British Crown but when the same general was also exported here to keep your great country under the British crown, he failed. I am from that first country refered here.

    I came to this greatest country three scores back. I was a ditch digger back home and came here with only great dreams. I finished my education with your tax money. This innovative product idea came however within days after my coming here when I noticed the American problem that people don’t have their umbrellas with them during sudden rain and snow and specially the ladies whose expensive hairdo gets flaked and destroyed by snows. This American problem needed to be addressed as the first order of my contribution as well as keeping China in Check who floods our great country with plastic and garbage.

    Now, after 9/11, I broadened my scope of innovation to address the most pressing problem not only for America but also for America’s allies and friends. With a $20,000 mighty US green per plane, I want to solve the plane hijacking problem for ever. I am talking about only the hijacking problem where the terrorists want to get access to the pilots cabin. I am going to ask the Federal Govt. (SBIR), the three commercial airline manufacturers, FAA and other relevant security establishments including Homeland security where I will propose my foolproof solution at this low cost per plane so that I can return millionfold the taxpayers money that this great country invested to give me a free ride during my student days.

    With this low cost extra ordinary solution, I wish to return what this great country has done for me: giving me taxmoney to go to school and still allow me to live among you.

    Any terrorists coming close to the pilots door would not know what hit them, the passengers would also not know what hit the terrorists. I will begin to approach the US shortly.

    I hope I have answered you.

    Comment by Ashoke on July 6, 2013 at 2:00 pm

  • Hi Andrew,

    Thanks for your input. Just imagine 315 million American plus another 25 million illegal inhabitants all using just one penbrella each. It will revolutionise America and the penbrella. Just think of the gross national product increase which surely will decrease US budget deficit and we can employ so many people in penbrella factories, giving people jobs to lift them out from public assistance, increase the tax revenue, I mean literally the uplifting of American economy with just the penbrella alone. Modestly priced at 10$ a unit, this translates to a revenue of 3.4 billion dollars. Now, as average American uses 21 pens a year at a minimum, that translates to 71.4 billion dollars in revenue.

    Now, since this penbrella is an US patrented product, everybody in the World would want to have at least one of this greatest US product in their hand. So add another 6.5 billion people buying this product which then translates to 71.4 + 65 billion =136.4 billion US dollar in one year alone.
    Now you at least assume 15 years which translates to 2.046 trillion US dollars.

    I keep my expectations the lowest rock bottom. BIC sells 35 million pens in a day. So, you can see my estimate is indeed the lowest rock bottom.

    Imagine the 2.046 trillion dollars added to the US economy and how we can lift so many people out from public assistance by giving them jobs in penbrella factories.

    Comment by Ashoke on July 6, 2013 at 2:43 pm

  • Just one other thing: Very recently, when our president was giving an interview to the journalists , it started to rain and President Obama literally had to wait for an umbrella for the military officer to get and hold. If he had heard of this penbrella, he would have one right in his pocket and he could have been protected from the rain and the army officer would not need to go and get an umbrella and the meeting could not have to wait for a few minutes till the army officer could get an umbrella. You see time is money and our president has to deal with so many important decisions without wasting any time. The penbrella could solve such problems.

    Comment by Ashoke on July 6, 2013 at 3:30 pm

  • Ashoke is right I love this invention…I know ashoke and I’m not trying to stick up for him…I love this invention and I think it’s a great idea I mean it could use some inprving but it’s still a for idea this invention comes from a great family and I think everyone can relate if you are going through a tough time and need some money so if you guys want to help support there family I will sell you guys then for 5 dollars

    Comment by Christian gwozdz on April 28, 2016 at 6:02 pm

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