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Shnoozles Terrify Your Child Into a Good Night’s Sleep

So many parents fight an ongoing battle to get their kids to fall asleep each night. Now moms and dads everywhere can employ vaguely humanoid creatures called Shnoozles to instill a tremendous amount of fear into their children, triggering their biological sleep defense mechanism, leading to a solid night of rest.

According to the commercial, Shnoozles live in Shnoozleland, a quaint village nestled at the bottom of the Uncanny Valley and situated around a direct portal to the nether dimensions. With a little luck and the help of Shah Shah and Shu Shu’s nightly “bedtime ritual” of blood sacrifices, the great Cthulhu will soon emerge from that pit, to the delight of his Shnoozle devotees everywhere.

Any parent considering sticking a Shnoozle into a child’s bed should note that both Shah Shah and Shu Shu Shnoozle have eyelids that close shut pour encourager les autres.

A great product for anyone who ever wondered what the bogeyman looks like.

Comments

  • 5 Responses to “Shnoozles Terrify Your Child Into a Good Night’s Sleep”

  • Note that when the parents READ and were CALM the child calmed down also. MIRACLE! Maybe they should do that instead of buying a creepy monster to get their kids to fall asleep.

    Comment by Jennifer on January 21, 2014 at 1:19 pm

  • I hope the Shnoozles work, because that mom in the pink sounds like she’s ready to go Casey Anthony on her kids.

    Comment by euGene on January 21, 2014 at 1:29 pm

  • I wonder who said these things were “cute”? They don’t look like anything interesting or remotely cute and look like a creepy monster/alien thing. And not a cute Monsters Inc./Monsters University-esque monster or a cute E.T.-esque (who was, admit it, pretty creepyish himself) alien. Basically it’s just a fuzzy circle with eyes, a mouth and a body.

    Comment by Jay on January 22, 2014 at 7:13 am

  • The pink one resembles a Hostess SnoBall, whereas the brown one looks like a Spuddy Buddy doll: http://dirtybutter.com/plushcatalog/x-press-graphics-idaho-potato-spuddy-buddy-doll.html

    Comment by Thomas on January 22, 2014 at 9:11 pm

  • They look sad.
    You have a better chance of getting them to sleep by telling them the cucuy(boogieman) is coming.

    Comment by Rosy on February 5, 2014 at 8:02 pm

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