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With Instant 20/20 Glasses You Can Clearly See What a Creepy Doofus You Look Like
The infomercial for Instant 20/20 glasses (www.GetInstant2020.com) is a courageous declaration that improved eyesight is worth the price of looking like an utterly pathetic dork, dweeb, and doofus:
The adjustable lenses in the Instant 20/20 make it easier to do all sorts of activities: watching TV, reading a book, viewing sporting events…and creepily leering at women in bikinis.
More fluently than words, the Peeping Tom’s expression after ogling those girls through his Instant 20/20s says, “If you think they’re hot, you should see the collection I have in my crawlspace.”
When the man does elect to speak, he tells us that Instant 20/20 glasses work really well but “They’re not fashion.” Never has a statement on an infomercial managed to so artfully blend truth and understatement.
Instant 20/20 is marketed to people with poor eyesight, so they won’t be able to see how hideous the glasses look on the TV commercial. But once they get them home and see themselves in the mirror, the horror will prompt many to take full advantage of the money back guarantee.
If that happens, a bin at your local dollar store will soon be overflowing with Instant 20/20s, which you will then be able to combine with a Devo energy dome for an outstanding and affordable Mark Mothersbaugh Halloween costume:
But wait, there’s more: Anyone still clamoring for bulky eyewear that makes you look like a menacing cyborg needs to check out Zoom 300:
Update 3/28/13: The name of the Zoom 300 has been changed to Zoomies, so now they sound as ridiculous as they look.
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Comments
6 Responses to “With Instant 20/20 Glasses You Can Clearly See What a Creepy Doofus You Look Like”
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Comment by Julie on March 24, 2013 at 6:58 pm
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for some reason it makes me think about the Opti-Grab on the movie The Jerk. instead of making the people that wear them cross-eyed they would be bug-eyed
Comment by Steve on April 24, 2013 at 1:40 pm
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I don’t often watch TV, but when I do, I wear binoculars so it look like a large screen.
Comment by Andrew P on July 6, 2013 at 4:01 am
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You go and on about how bad the glasses look. At 82, my mom doesn’t care about the looks. She is going blind and needs something to be able to read with. Aside from their lack of style, do they or don’t they work? Do you know the strength of the lens? If you are going to make a review, keep to the claims of the product. They already said they wern’t the greatest looking. What we as the consumer want to know is, do they work?
Comment by Lorna on August 4, 2013 at 5:42 pm
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If ANY thing sold off an infomercial were great, there would be thousands of glowing reviews posted online and Walmart would be selling it.
Walmart does sell a number of things from infomercials, but at a fraction of the cost and hassle, and with easy return policy, whereas infomercials try to upsell you 3x the advertised price and then hose you on handling fees.
Comment by bugs bunny on August 24, 2013 at 4:36 am
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@Lorna
I am 5 years late to the party, but your 82-year old mom should get proper prescription glasses if she can afford them.
Comment by kurkosdr on May 4, 2018 at 4:27 pm
Ugly as they are, I was excited about these until I noticed the (appropriately blurry) fine print saying that they don’t correct astigmatism.
But they’re only ugly. The Zoom 300s are just plain creepy.