Yes, Bosom Max is a Pink Bra That Massages Your Breasts

The Bosom Max is an entire system designed to enlarge a woman’s bustline. It uses creams and capsules, but most of all, a pink bra that massages the breasts:

I assume those undulating rainbows in the infomercial represent circulation in the flesh. But if Bosom Max actually makes boobs look like that then shimmering, multi-colored mammaries will probably become the biggest fashion trend since vajazzling.

Interesting that the first benefit of large breasts listed by this infomercial is the ability to gain employment. No wonder the current recession has hit men so hard: they have no breasts at all!

And don’t miss the testimonial by Katrina from Orange, NJ, whose speech pattern is not unlike that of Elmer Fudd: “My best fwiend got implants and she went through so much pain. Thank God I started the Bosom Max treatment. There’s no pain at all, and my bweasts are looking better and better.”

There is also a full length version of the Bosom Max infomercial that airs on Spanish-language TV stations. In this version they tout that you can use BosomMax while getting work done (which recalls the claims on the Hawaii Chair infomercial). Thus we get a shot of a woman taking notes while wearing a Bosom Max…

…and a woman in her office topless except for the Bosom Max…

Even if the Bosom Max fails to see success as a breast enlargement device, the buttoned center panel in the middle of bra will ensure sales. Expect to see Bosom Max in stores this October as part of a “Sexy Darth Vader” Halloween costume.