Toastie Tush Provides Relief for Frostbitten Butts

Actresses often lament the lack of substantive roles for women. Whether it be on stage, screen, or television, female parts are too often merely supporting characters. That’s why it is always a cause for celebration when something comes along that truly allows lady thespians to show the artistic depths of their craft.

The role I am referring to is, of course, that of “Woman Whose Butt is Cold on the Toilet” on the Toastie Tush infomercial:

As a lifelong Californian, I have never given much thought to how cold a toilet seat can get, but many a frostbitten rear end throughout the Northeast and Midwest longs for the warmth provided by Toastie Tush. (By the way, “Toastie Tush” beat out many other possible product names, including “Burning Buns” and “Balmy Butt.”)

Toastie Tush offers “three adjustable heat settings” and is “UL listed safe,” which will alleviate fears that the product will turn your toilet into a fecal urine soup bowl.

Now during those chilly winter months glutei maximi can go from this…

Woman with a cold butt on the toilet on the 'Toastie Tush' infomercial

to this…

Woman with a warm butt on the toilet in the 'Toastie Tush' infomercial

And, yes, the Toastie Tush infomercial actually ends with the trademarked phrase, “You’ll Never Want to ‘GO’ Without it!”™


  • 6 Responses to “Toastie Tush Provides Relief for Frostbitten Butts”

  • It will work as long as men remember to put the lid down.

    Comment by Jennifer on January 2, 2012 at 8:46 pm

  • That thing is going to get covered in pee in a multi-male household.

    Comment by Anne Packrat on January 3, 2012 at 1:35 pm

  • We have truly advanced as a society ….

    Comment by Chris Pawelski on January 4, 2012 at 7:42 am

  • Well, being from Chicago I can say that the toilet seats can get a bit cold, but if your house is so cold that you need a heating element for your toilet-seat then you probably don’t have electricity in your house in the first place.

    Comment by Al Frank on January 4, 2012 at 6:56 pm

  • Why waste your money on this when you can get someone with a warm ass to sit on the toilet for you for free?

    Comment by BOTR on January 6, 2012 at 6:24 pm

  • These people must be using metal toilet seats or something… a decent wooden toilet seat is less than $20 and never feels cold.

    Comment by Julie on January 6, 2012 at 9:48 pm