Let Your Boy Piss Outside the Toilet Bowl with Potty Express

So many dog owners were so happy to let their pets piss inside their house with the help of Potty Patch, that now parents of toddler boys can let them just urinate on the side of the toilet instead of inside the bowl with Potty Express. The Potty Express is a paper envelope that is hung on the side of a toilet or urinal. For some reason, a child is supposed to find it easier to urinate inside the envelope than inside the big toilet bowl that is just a few inches next to it. Parents these days are so afraid to hurt their kids’ precious self-esteem that they only hope to have their boys piss somewhere in the general vicinity of the toilet instead of insisting they actually make it into the bowl.

Watch this amazing infomercial for yourself (if you can stand the faux Leave It to Beaver music):

One selling point of the Potty Express is that it turns emptying the bladder “into a fun game,” presumably because of the bullseye on the product. Today’s youth refuse to take a leak unless the activity is made into something as amusing as Sesame Street or Barney and Friends. They don’t say if the Potty Express comes with a rulebook for keeping score, but we can only hope so.

One thing that doesn’t seem like a fun game is attaching this to the edge of a filthy toilet and disposing of the waste. So you had better practice cleanly dumping out a pouch full of urine unless you want to suffer the unfortunate effects of spills and dribbles.

But for all the talk of piss and toilets, the most upsetting thing in the Potty Express commercial is the smug look on the parents’ faces as they hold up all the money they saved on diapers. It looks like they are starting a feud with East Coast rappers before spending their wad on spinners and grillz.