The Magic Bullet Scripts: Download Complete Screenplays for the Magic Bullet, Magic Bullet to Go, Bullet Express, and Baby Bullet Infomercials

The Magic Bullet infomercial has a cult following unlike any other infomercial ever broadcast. Much of its popularity comes from its very unusual (for an infomercial) format of using scripted dialogue and fictional characters. This same scripted format (as well as many of the same characters) are used in its sequels, the Magic Bullet to Go and the Bullet Express.

Because of the Magic Bullet’s popularity and scripted format, there is a massive demand for these infomercials to be available in proper screenplay format. So today we make transcriptions of all three infomercials available to you. Now your local community theater or church drama group may perform these beloved dramas for the amusement and enjoyment of all.

Download the PDF files from the following links

Notes to directors:

* For the sake of completeness, I have included the text of the voice overs used in the “commercial” segments. I advise, however, that you eliminate or at least greatly reduce these commercials in your performances.

* As broadcast, the Bullet Express infomercial has three characters who go unnamed: Ralph’s wife and a couple consisting of a blonde woman and a bearded man. Following the penchant these infomercials show for naming their couples after famous ones (Ike and Tina, Fred and Wilma, Betty and Barney), I decided to name Ralph’s wife Alice and in keeping with the Honeymooners theme name the other couple Ed and Trixie.

Update March 3, 2011: The script for The Baby Bullet has been added. In keeping with the Magic Bullet’s “famous couples” naming convention, Al’s unnamed wife has been given the name “Peg.”


  • 4 Responses to “The Magic Bullet Scripts: Download Complete Screenplays for the Magic Bullet, Magic Bullet to Go, Bullet Express, and Baby Bullet Infomercials”

  • God, I love the Magic Bullet Trilogy. I would pay money to see these live on stage, especially the first two. The third one is okay, but it suffers from the conspicuous absence of Hazel and Berman, clearly the series’ breakout characters. If someone could stage these, it would almost make up for my inability to attend the stage spectacular that was Point Break Live!

    Comment by Thomas on April 24, 2010 at 2:07 am

  • LMAO @ Magic Bullet Trilogy. Priceless.

    Comment by Olivia on April 30, 2010 at 1:10 am

  • YAY! Right away I was thinking: I’m having a party and we’re filming a re-inactment! I LOVE THIS SERIES! THANKS!

    Comment by Sweetleaf Sandy on May 13, 2010 at 6:12 am

  • WOW! Wait until my local community theater gets a hold of these!

    Comment by Steve on December 30, 2014 at 11:26 am