Comfort Wipe: Someone is Actually Selling a Stick to Wipe Your Ass
June 14th, 2009 by Paul Lucas
Comfort Wipe is a stick that holds your toilet paper for you as you wipe your butt. Really. The commercial will make you think it must be some sort of a joke, but ComfortWipe is a real product being marketed by infomercial giant Telebrands.
Move over Klee Irwin: Comfort Wipe may be the grossest thing ever sold via TV infomercial.
In the shower scene at 0:22, at first it appears that the woman is using the Comfort Wipe to scrub her back! (But on closer examination she is just using a shower brush.)
My hats off to the producers for having the shameless audacity to include the line, “The Comfort Wipe allows you to maintain your dignity.” The actress should win an award for being able to deliver that with a straight face.
And ya gotta love their boldness in including a flower in the product logo:
This commercial raises some interesting questions:
- Do fat people really have such huge asses that they have trouble reaching their arms past all their blubbery butt flesh to give themselves a good wipe? That would indeed be a “disadvantage.”
- Isn’t cleaning the ComfortWipe stick itself going to be a much more disgusting chore than washing one’s hands after a bad wipe?
- Is every member of a household going to get their own Comfort Wipe stick? How does one identify whose stick is whose? Or will an entire family “share” a single Comfort Wipe?
If you decide to purchase the Comfort Wipe, good luck…and don’t get the wrong end of the stick!
—
Thanks to Brian Hass at Watch This Now for letting me know about “the first improvement in toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s.”
what fucking advantages are there to being a big guy? what improvement was there in the 1880′s? maintain your dignity? What!?!?!!?
Comment by Emilin8r — June 14th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Also, where are you exactly supposed to put this after you have successfully wiped yourself with it? toothbrush holder?
Comment by Joren C — June 14th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
This is the winner! Best commercial gadget ever. I was stuck on the hula-chair, but this has it beat!
Comment by Al Frank — June 15th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
For God’s sake, I hope they make a half-hour version of this with a “host”!
Comment by Al Frank — June 15th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
On a related note, I found this today-
http://www.cracked.com/blog/call-center-transcript-of-me-returning-a-comfort-wipe
Comment by Al Frank — June 16th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
How many people really have to have others wipe their ass, seriously?
Comment by Lilly — June 16th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Maybe it’s just because I’m awake at 3:35AM watching infomercials on the Discovery Channel, but I really think you need to review the FlavorWave ad featuring Mr. T and the zingy tagline “You set it to cook, and you’re off the hook!”
(There was also an ad for Cat Genie that featured numerous people talking about cat poop, but it only ran for 5-6 minutes, so I don’t think it’s a bonafide infomercial.)
But seriously, FlavorWave…please?
Comment by Devika — June 17th, 2009 at 12:39 am
@Devika:
Mr. T on Flavorwave: http://www.infomercial-hell.com/blog/2008/09/30/i-pity-the-fool-who-doesnt-watch-mr-t-hosting-the-flavor-wave-oven-turbo-infomercial/
Cat Genie: http://www.infomercial-hell.com/blog/2007/05/24/cat-crap-gets-its-own-infomercial-with-cat-genie/
Comment by Paul Lucas — June 17th, 2009 at 8:49 am
Check out the spoof of this that was done on YouTube…
http://tinyurl.com/ComfortableStick
Definitely worth sharing.
Comment by Ronald — June 17th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Yes now I have another way for me to be even more lazy.
Comment by Anthony — June 19th, 2009 at 10:52 am
This product is actually not that whacky. If you’ve ever had arthritis or lower back pain, range of motion is an issue. This simply helps
folks extend their reach enough to reach “between the cheeks.” Also, there are some very hefty, overweight people, many of whom also have limited range of motion. Having extra fleshy butt cheeks makes wiping hygiene a major challenge.
I use baby wipes for messy movements, myself. They don’t fall apart like some toilet tissues.
Comment by Kenneth — June 21st, 2009 at 9:35 pm
I think its a good idea…hey, most of the rest of the world uses a freaking BIDET, which most Americans have no clue what it is to clean their heinies. Much more hygenic than toilet paper.
Comment by Stefanie — June 27th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
It wouldn’t be so disgusting if they included a HOLDER.
Comment by Jeremy — June 29th, 2009 at 1:46 am
I wonder if one can hit the ‘G-spot’ with this???
Comment by Tom — June 30th, 2009 at 9:23 am
o.o
I just imagined someone using one of these after watching that video! Dx
Comment by Yami — July 6th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
This product is perfect for women that have really long nails, like this one woman I saw on TV one time that hasn’t cut her nails since the late ’70s.
Comment by Bathroom On The Right — July 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
…if your someone who doesn’t want to touch dirty toilet paper…I don’t know about the rest of you but the side my hand is touching isn’t dirty.
Comment by Clean Hands — July 26th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
“Toilet paper is archaic and disgusting”
Right, because wiping your bum with a bare hand or leaves was much more desired.
Comment by JayC — December 16th, 2009 at 2:48 am
As a physical therapist, I have discerned from the majority of the comments , most of the people (including the author of this article) do not understand the limitations of arthritis, obesity, injuries which limit range of motion in the upper extremities and the spine. This invention allows independence with hygiene care which otherwise would not be possible. The alternative would be for someone to ask neighbors, family, friends or hire a in home caregiver at a high expense to help. Keep in mind most people who have this limitation are elderly or on diability and have limited income which would mean doing without medication other necessities ie. food to hire help. So, in retrospect, this is a great invention.
Comment by Stephanie — November 13th, 2010 at 8:22 pm
The roman’s used sticks to wipe their ass. They would rap a cloth around the end of the stick or wand, wipe, then plop stick and rag in a bucket of water.
Anyway…it isn’t so funny when you lose your hand functions due to being diagnosed with a joint disease at 15 years old.
Comment by ouch — February 16th, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Too bad every fatty dosn’t own one. Most obese
hospital patients won’t wipe their own crack, I
don’t know what they do at home. Their hands work
fine when it comes to stuffing their faces.
Comment by bendover — April 11th, 2011 at 3:06 am
I challenge all of you to lift one leg off the floor when you go to wipe , and see how far you get wiping . Im an abk amputee,I never had any problem wiping my ass but when I lost my leg its a function that is very difficult at best. I am to proud or embassed i dont know which to ask for help. I didnt know there was a product out there like comfort wipe . It would really help me . So go ahead and laugh I just hope none of you ever have to ask someone to wipe your ass.
Comment by Mwillis50 — June 28th, 2011 at 8:16 am
Hey, you morons out there. You don’t have to be obese to have a problem wiping. I have very painful arthritis of my spine (DDD) and have a great deal of difficulty wiping, especially in my 70′s. Anyone with a disability can have a problem in this regard. So, F-off.
Comment by Karl Closner — December 25th, 2011 at 11:17 pm
I wipe myself with a rag on a stick.
Comment by Fat Bart — January 31st, 2012 at 10:52 pm