counter

Comfort Wipe: Someone is Actually Selling a Stick to Wipe Your Ass

Comfort Wipe is a stick that holds your toilet paper for you as you wipe your butt. Really. The commercial will make you think it must be some sort of a joke, but ComfortWipe is a real product being marketed by infomercial giant Telebrands.

Move over Klee Irwin: Comfort Wipe may be the grossest thing ever sold via TV infomercial.

In the shower scene at 0:22, at first it appears that the woman is using the Comfort Wipe to scrub her back! (But on closer examination she is just using a shower brush.)

My hats off to the producers for having the shameless audacity to include the line, “The Comfort Wipe allows you to maintain your dignity.” The actress should win an award for being able to deliver that with a straight face.

And ya gotta love their boldness in including a flower in the product logo:

Comfort Wipe Logo

This commercial raises some interesting questions:

  • Do fat people really have such huge asses that they have trouble reaching their arms past all their blubbery butt flesh to give themselves a good wipe? That would indeed be a “disadvantage.”
  • Isn’t cleaning the ComfortWipe stick itself going to be a much more disgusting chore than washing one’s hands after a bad wipe?
  • Is every member of a household going to get their own Comfort Wipe stick? How does one identify whose stick is whose? Or will an entire family “share” a single Comfort Wipe?

If you decide to purchase the Comfort Wipe, good luck…and don’t get the wrong end of the stick!

Thanks to Brian Hass at Watch This Now for letting me know about “the first improvement in toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s.”

Comments

  • 37 Responses to “Comfort Wipe: Someone is Actually Selling a Stick to Wipe Your Ass”

  • what fucking advantages are there to being a big guy? what improvement was there in the 1880’s? maintain your dignity? What!?!?!!?

    Comment by Emilin8r on June 14, 2009 at 1:09 pm

  • Also, where are you exactly supposed to put this after you have successfully wiped yourself with it? toothbrush holder?

    Comment by Joren C on June 14, 2009 at 10:31 pm

  • This is the winner! Best commercial gadget ever. I was stuck on the hula-chair, but this has it beat!

    Comment by Al Frank on June 15, 2009 at 2:00 pm

  • For God’s sake, I hope they make a half-hour version of this with a “host”!

    Comment by Al Frank on June 15, 2009 at 2:03 pm

  • Comment by Al Frank on June 16, 2009 at 2:19 pm

  • How many people really have to have others wipe their ass, seriously?

    Comment by Lilly on June 16, 2009 at 9:54 pm

  • Maybe it’s just because I’m awake at 3:35AM watching infomercials on the Discovery Channel, but I really think you need to review the FlavorWave ad featuring Mr. T and the zingy tagline “You set it to cook, and you’re off the hook!”

    (There was also an ad for Cat Genie that featured numerous people talking about cat poop, but it only ran for 5-6 minutes, so I don’t think it’s a bonafide infomercial.)

    But seriously, FlavorWave…please?

    Comment by Devika on June 17, 2009 at 12:39 am

  • Comment by Paul Lucas on June 17, 2009 at 8:49 am

  • Check out the spoof of this that was done on YouTube…
    http://tinyurl.com/ComfortableStick
    Definitely worth sharing. 😀

    Comment by Ronald on June 17, 2009 at 10:40 pm

  • Yes now I have another way for me to be even more lazy.

    Comment by Anthony on June 19, 2009 at 10:52 am

  • This product is actually not that whacky. If you’ve ever had arthritis or lower back pain, range of motion is an issue. This simply helps
    folks extend their reach enough to reach “between the cheeks.” Also, there are some very hefty, overweight people, many of whom also have limited range of motion. Having extra fleshy butt cheeks makes wiping hygiene a major challenge.

    I use baby wipes for messy movements, myself. They don’t fall apart like some toilet tissues.

    Comment by Kenneth on June 21, 2009 at 9:35 pm

  • I think its a good idea…hey, most of the rest of the world uses a freaking BIDET, which most Americans have no clue what it is to clean their heinies. Much more hygenic than toilet paper.

    Comment by Stefanie on June 27, 2009 at 4:39 pm

  • It wouldn’t be so disgusting if they included a HOLDER.

    Comment by Jeremy on June 29, 2009 at 1:46 am

  • I wonder if one can hit the ‘G-spot’ with this???

    Comment by Tom on June 30, 2009 at 9:23 am

  • o.o
    I just imagined someone using one of these after watching that video! Dx

    Comment by Yami on July 6, 2009 at 3:45 pm

  • This product is perfect for women that have really long nails, like this one woman I saw on TV one time that hasn’t cut her nails since the late ’70s.

    Comment by Bathroom On The Right on July 6, 2009 at 4:46 pm

  • …if your someone who doesn’t want to touch dirty toilet paper…I don’t know about the rest of you but the side my hand is touching isn’t dirty.

    Comment by Clean Hands on July 26, 2009 at 10:22 pm

  • “Toilet paper is archaic and disgusting”

    Right, because wiping your bum with a bare hand or leaves was much more desired.

    Comment by JayC on December 16, 2009 at 2:48 am

  • As a physical therapist, I have discerned from the majority of the comments , most of the people (including the author of this article) do not understand the limitations of arthritis, obesity, injuries which limit range of motion in the upper extremities and the spine. This invention allows independence with hygiene care which otherwise would not be possible. The alternative would be for someone to ask neighbors, family, friends or hire a in home caregiver at a high expense to help. Keep in mind most people who have this limitation are elderly or on diability and have limited income which would mean doing without medication other necessities ie. food to hire help. So, in retrospect, this is a great invention.

    Comment by Stephanie on November 13, 2010 at 8:22 pm

  • The roman’s used sticks to wipe their ass. They would rap a cloth around the end of the stick or wand, wipe, then plop stick and rag in a bucket of water.
    Anyway…it isn’t so funny when you lose your hand functions due to being diagnosed with a joint disease at 15 years old.

    Comment by ouch on February 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm

  • Too bad every fatty dosn’t own one. Most obese
    hospital patients won’t wipe their own crack, I
    don’t know what they do at home. Their hands work
    fine when it comes to stuffing their faces.

    Comment by bendover on April 11, 2011 at 3:06 am

  • I challenge all of you to lift one leg off the floor when you go to wipe , and see how far you get wiping . Im an abk amputee,I never had any problem wiping my ass but when I lost my leg its a function that is very difficult at best. I am to proud or embassed i dont know which to ask for help. I didnt know there was a product out there like comfort wipe . It would really help me . So go ahead and laugh I just hope none of you ever have to ask someone to wipe your ass.

    Comment by Mwillis50 on June 28, 2011 at 8:16 am

  • Hey, you morons out there. You don’t have to be obese to have a problem wiping. I have very painful arthritis of my spine (DDD) and have a great deal of difficulty wiping, especially in my 70’s. Anyone with a disability can have a problem in this regard. So, F-off.

    Comment by Karl Closner on December 25, 2011 at 11:17 pm

  • I wipe myself with a rag on a stick.

    Comment by Fat Bart on January 31, 2012 at 10:52 pm

  • For the record, the “Cracked” like is broken, so I’ll just put this here:

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/my-failed-attempt-to-return-broken-comfort-wipe/

    Comment by Daniel B. on June 13, 2012 at 10:24 pm

  • I happen to be overweight, and had no problem wiping my own arse until recently when I developed a painful condition that limits my movement. The butt wiper may seem like a joke to most people, but you may not be laughing if something happens to you that prevents you from doing small daily activities like wiping your backside.

    Comment by Cathie on October 3, 2012 at 12:38 am

  • I have a shoulder injury and in the midst of my pain and frustration I had to deal with the embarrassment of requiring help with this task. I am a grown man nd this really affected my dignity. You can all laugh at this device but can assure you that if you ever require help in this regard you will be very happy to have such a device!

    Comment by Jim on October 26, 2012 at 9:20 pm

  • There are many people who can really use something like to make everyday life easier, mentally and physically. What I mean by that is those who are handicap, our soldiers who come home with a limb missing and don’t want to ask someone to wipe there butt for them, older people, and yes some bigger people. I think and feel its horrible for anyone who has all there facilities making fun of those who don’t. And yet u say your an adult!

    Comment by megan on April 10, 2013 at 7:39 pm

  • All of those who are knocking this device need to take a different look. Many people have issues with wiping when going to the bathroom! People who have limited range of motion. This can be caused by MANY things. Also obesity isn’t always just because “people feed their face” it can also be caused by another medical condition such as thyroid problems, disabilities that prevent them from exercising regularly, or even depression. I have had to help my husband after a major back surgery wipe because it was either me or the nurse. It is embarrassing having to ask someone you know or don’t know at all to help with that! Once he was in rehab to help gain his strength & independence back they gave him a device similar to this & it helped him to be able to do it on his own. We were both thankful for it! I think it is a wonderful invention! Someday maybe you will look at it differently when you are forced to ask someone to wipe your ass!

    Comment by Thankful on September 21, 2014 at 7:23 pm

  • Your all obnoxious people that make fun of someone who is overweight, Having back problems etc and not able to wipe thee behind because of certain mishaps in there life.

    You all make me sick and want to throw up. Your all uncaring and sick mentally in the head. You all need Psychiatrist help for your sick evil mind of being uncaring – and not being compassionate. Some day you may have issues due to unfortunate events and have to use devices like this too. So think on that. You all laugh. But this may all backfire on all of you who laugh at others misfortune. The people use these devices because they have too and no other reasons. You should have all compassion and love and caring in your heart. Shame on all of you. Shame – Shame – Shame.

    Comment by REX on November 12, 2014 at 10:57 pm

  • As a women in her 30’s that has gone threw many spinal surgerys and a fusion,im disgusted by the lack of education,lack of humility,lack of sympathy for your fellow humans.I myself cannot reach far enough to get a great wipe, and its very frustrating as it I’d..let alone come on here to find you cavemen and women making fun of people.I honestly hope you don’t have children to learn this stupidity.God help you if you come to get a disability or any of your family! People like these people should be neutered like animals so they can’t reproduce.

    Comment by melody on January 23, 2015 at 11:22 am

  • Achondroplasia aka dwarfism can result in in arms too short to reach your butt.
    This is a very necessary product in the lives of little people.

    Comment by jennifer on April 18, 2015 at 10:20 pm

  • Living with a back injury things like this makes a difference. You use wipes on the end, just like I did before injury. Nothing like being clean for your lady friends.
    The dude that wonders if it will hit the G-spot needs some serious help. Get the book “G-spots for Dummies” (For woman)or “Idiot’s guide to the G-Spot”. The people that are worried about the obese, don’t worry you will get there.

    Comment by Mojo on November 4, 2015 at 6:24 pm

  • For the record, anyone who has had open heart surgery cannot wipe their butts initially. Their range of motion in their arms are restricted. My slim cousin just had open heart surgery. Hopefully the ignorant folks commenting will never have arthritis, back problems, rotator cuff or other shoulder issues, be fat or have open heart surgery!! Here’s to staying young, thin & healthy forever!!! Good luck with that.

    Comment by Clean anus on January 17, 2016 at 6:21 pm

  • I didn’t know that there was a devise like this. I just did asearch for a butt wipe stick. I actually was thinking of inventing one if there wasn’t one but to my surprise it was invented already. Now all I have to do is buy a good one after more research. I am not a big person, but I do have Parkinsons and sometimes I have wished I had something like this.

    Comment by Ronnie on February 9, 2016 at 12:27 am

  • I have been thinking about inventing this product myself and will be pleased to try it. I’m elderly, hefty, bad knees, with right shoulder limited range of motion.I have kept going with yoga stretches but I can see the day when I will need this product. I hope it will task baby wipes.

    Comment by Roy on June 19, 2017 at 8:51 pm

  • I discovered this at Dr. Leonard’s and it is great! The first one broke and I found the same thing on eBay at a much lower price. I have a lower back injury that prevents me from reaching around. If I do, I have lower back pain that incapacitates me for several days.

    It has a slot with a clamp inside on the back of the wiping part. You stick the end of a four or five sheet strip of toilet paper in there, wrap it around, and press the other end into the slot. When you are through you press a button on the end of the handle to release the clamp. Be careful, this is the part that breaks. You can follow-up with disposable wet wipes. Put the wipe flat, the cleaner in the middle, and tuck both ends firmly in the slot.

    I find that 3-4 strips of tp and a couple of wipes will usually do the job, and no back pain!

    Comment by Jerry on April 4, 2018 at 4:27 pm

Leave a Reply