The Tushee Towel Sells a Snuggie for Your Butt

The phenomenal sales success of the Snuggie in 2008 and 2009 has inspired imitators who want to strike it rich in the world of short form infomercials (known as DRTV in the biz). Apparently several marketers have decided that the popularity of the Snuggie can be replicated with the following formula:

1. Sell a product which is nothing but a glorified piece of cloth

2. Give it a cutesy name.

3. Create a stupid rhyme and recite it at the beginning of the TV commercial.

These steps were put into practice by the Cozy Caftan, the Wearable Towel, and now the Tushee:

The Tushee comforter commercial opens with a poem for the ages:

Sitting at the pool shouldn’t be a task.
Pull out the Tushee, sit back, and relax.
Brushing the dirt or fighting the cold and heat
Shouldn’t be a stop for taking your seat.

Even as an advertising jingle this attempt verse really sucks. They include more (sort-of) rhyming couplets later on in the commercial, but I don’t have the stomach to quote them right now.

In spite of the commercial’s brief references to “secure grip” and “adjustable size,” any major difference between the Tushee and those dozens of other towels you have in your closet right now remains unclear—except for the fact that none of your towels is named after a butt.

But though the name “Tushee” may be stupid, it is preferable to the original name for the product, Ass Ragg™.