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The Great Infomercial Breast-Fest of 2008

2007 was the year of the Cavalcade of Colon Cleansing infomercials, with Dual Action Cleanse, Almighty Cleanse, Colon Flow, and the 7 Day Miracle Cleanse competing to clear the crap out of your colon. In 2008, however, infomercials seem to be obsessed with a much nicer body part: Breasts.

The first wave of these infomercials simply used exposed cleavage to attract viewers. This use of cleavage was completely gratuitous, because the products being sold on the infomercials had nothing to do with breasts. The best example of this was the Jeff Paul Shortcuts to Internet Millions infomercial, which featured the massive globes of two luscious models to sell a money-making program. Also in this category are the Video Professor infomercial in which hostess Rebecca Grant shows off her assets to spice up a dull infomercial selling computer training videos, the Erica Inc infomercial which uses cleavage to get people to listen to a pitch for a biz op, and the Magic Bullet To Go infomercial in which the camera angles let viewers look down Mimi Umidon’s tank top.

Recently, however, infomercials have been selling products that actually have to do with breasts. Chic Shaper is an accessory that is worn under the bra to fool people into thinking a woman has large boobs. Easy Curves is an exercise bar that is supposed to increase the bustline.

With this suddenly popularity of big breasts gripping the infomercial world, I suggest that this year’s Electronic Retailing Association awards ceremony open with Forbes Riley and Jack LaLanne signing a duet of this song:

It would be the highlight of the event!

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