Secret Keeper Turns Your Bra into a Tote Bag

Ladies, now you can stuff you money into your cleavage for safe-keeping, just like some 1940s floozie. Behold the Secret Keeper commercial:

The creators of Secret Keeper pouch ardently hope those full-sized Eisenhower silver dollars never make a comeback.

The claim that the Secret Keeper is more “secure” than a purse or wallet seems a bit curious. Is the local pick-pocket, who has no qualms about snatching a purse or lifting a wallet, suddenly going to develop scruples when it comes to touching a woman’s décolletage? That must be the real reason they include those “Smudge Removers” as a free bonus: So you can conveniently wipe the grimy handprints of a street thug from your outfit after he has man-handled your bustline to get to your cash.

One great feature of the Secret Keeper is that it is “water-resistant.” How convenient for the next time you go mud-wrestling!

The infomercial offers not one, not two, but 9 Secret Keepers. Exactly how many breasts do they think their customers have?


  • 13 Responses to “Secret Keeper Turns Your Bra into a Tote Bag”

  • What is the targeted demographic? Every woman in the entire state of North Carolina?

    I believe I just answered my own question.

    Comment by Sarah H. on November 23, 2009 at 10:00 pm

  • There’s nothing more classy than reaching into your bra to pay the waiter. Nothing.

    Comment by Monica Hamburg - Your Dose of Lunacy on November 24, 2009 at 12:15 am

  • No, wait- the target demographic is every woman in North Carolina, South Carolina, AND Indiana.

    Comment by Sarah H. on November 24, 2009 at 11:21 pm

  • Real women stuff their bra.

    Comment by Janie on November 26, 2009 at 9:49 am

  • I look forward to the guys’ version, where the infomercial will encourage unclassy men to stash their cash/credit cards/marijuana down the front of their tighty-whities, complete with a similarly objectionable scene involving “discreetly” paying a waiter while otherwise appearing to be re-adjusting…

    Comment by Sam on December 6, 2009 at 7:55 pm

  • I urge all the women to use this secret for their own convenient and safety. Bra is the safest place for women to keep their belongings. I keep my money and card inside my bra and feel proud when people especially guys stsaring at me when my tiny fingers reaching inside my bra to take or keep money. It makes me look sexy. My husband loves this very much and always stuff money inside my bra. I just love it.

    Comment by Diana on December 13, 2009 at 5:34 am

  • “Bra is the safest place for women to keep their belongings.”

    I don’t think my sofa will fit.

    Comment by lorien larsen on March 3, 2010 at 4:57 pm

  • its water resistant? I’ll get it when I feel the urge to go to a wet tee-shirt competition

    Comment by Rachel on March 8, 2010 at 11:09 am

  • Shocking! But what will people think when you start reaching towards your bra?

    Comment by Lonie on July 31, 2010 at 8:49 pm

  • i see many women in nightclubs using there bra cup for storage of money and other things. in my eyes its super sexy espically if shes wearing a low cut tight fitting dress and the things in her bra cup show through a bit. with a few drinks in the ladys they really dont care much if the men see them removing and then depositing the money back into the cup. just plain sexy to me.

    Comment by fredchurch on October 18, 2010 at 12:31 pm

  • i go out dancing on a regular basis . i put my pocketbook in the trunk of the car . money credit card i.d. and cell phone all go down the bra cup. no safer place and a great conversation starter with the men i meet and dance with.

    Comment by debbie on July 26, 2011 at 12:49 pm

  • I would think the target demographic would be older women that play Bingo. I used to work at a bingo hall and I would have several customers reaching in their bras to grab some money to pay for their cards; of course, the money would more often than not be soaked in sweat.

    Comment by BOTR on February 2, 2012 at 3:16 pm

  • why do people say money comes out wet? womens breasts dont sweat so much that it turns wet? i know several ladys that carry there money there and it comes out bone dry. what world are people living in?

    Comment by fredchurch on August 6, 2013 at 7:33 am