Secret Keeper Turns Your Bra into a Tote Bag
November 23rd, 2009 Paul Lucas
Ladies, now you can stuff you money into your cleavage for safe-keeping, just like some 1940s floozie. Behold the Secret Keeper commercial:
The creators of Secret Keeper pouch ardently hope those full-sized Eisenhower silver dollars never make a comeback.
The claim that the Secret Keeper is more “secure” than a purse or wallet seems a bit curious. Is the local pick-pocket, who has no qualms about snatching a purse or lifting a wallet, suddenly going to develop scruples when it comes to touching a woman’s décolletage? That must be the real reason they include those “Smudge Removers” as a free bonus: So you can conveniently wipe the grimy handprints of a street thug from your outfit after he has man-handled your bustline to get to your cash.
One great feature of the Secret Keeper is that it is “water-resistant.” How convenient for the next time you go mud-wrestling!
The infomercial offers not one, not two, but 9 Secret Keepers. Exactly how many breasts do they think their customers have?
What is the targeted demographic? Every woman in the entire state of North Carolina?
I believe I just answered my own question.
Comment by Sarah H. — November 23rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
There’s nothing more classy than reaching into your bra to pay the waiter. Nothing.
Comment by Monica Hamburg - Your Dose of Lunacy — November 24th, 2009 at 12:15 am
No, wait- the target demographic is every woman in North Carolina, South Carolina, AND Indiana.
Comment by Sarah H. — November 24th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Real women stuff their bra.
Comment by Janie — November 26th, 2009 at 9:49 am
I look forward to the guys’ version, where the infomercial will encourage unclassy men to stash their cash/credit cards/marijuana down the front of their tighty-whities, complete with a similarly objectionable scene involving “discreetly” paying a waiter while otherwise appearing to be re-adjusting…
Comment by Sam — December 6th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
I urge all the women to use this secret for their own convenient and safety. Bra is the safest place for women to keep their belongings. I keep my money and card inside my bra and feel proud when people especially guys stsaring at me when my tiny fingers reaching inside my bra to take or keep money. It makes me look sexy. My husband loves this very much and always stuff money inside my bra. I just love it.
Comment by Diana — December 13th, 2009 at 5:34 am
“Bra is the safest place for women to keep their belongings.”
I don’t think my sofa will fit.
Comment by lorien larsen — March 3rd, 2010 at 4:57 pm
its water resistant? I’ll get it when I feel the urge to go to a wet tee-shirt competition
Comment by Rachel — March 8th, 2010 at 11:09 am
Shocking! But what will people think when you start reaching towards your bra?
Comment by Lonie — July 31st, 2010 at 8:49 pm