This Motivational CD May Be the Most Depressing Product Ever
The “Cheers to You” audio CD tries to lift you out of your gloom by reciting encouraging statements accompanied by sounds of applause and cheering crowds. I don’t know about you, but the thought that any person would take such a product seriously sure depresses me.
The “Cheers to You” audio CD proudly joins the Hawaii Chair and Shuffles Shoe Mop in the I-Can’t-Believe-This-Is-A-Real-Product category. Go to the website www.TheGoodCheerCompany.com and you will find out this TV commercial is not a parody; the CD is really for sale and at only $24.95 it is a lot cheaper than a Prozac prescription.
The CD tells the listener “We’re on your side. We’re here for you. Weeee belieeeeve in yoooou!” The “we” in this case is the voice of an anonymous man in a recording studio who has never met you and never will. Who, exactly, would be fooled by this thing into feeling better about himself or herself?
And the patronizing tone of the speaker—who sounds like an adult on Sesame Street speaking to a 14-month-old just learning to talk—can’t be helping matters.
Maybe the next version of “Cheer to You” will contain the affirmations, “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!”
This commercial tells us that this product was featured on the Ellen Degeneres Show—which puts it in the same league as the Tiddy Bear.
Even more puzzling than the CD is the bonus of “three puzzle-shaped affirmative tokens.” Who needs accomplishments, talents, or virtues when you have the words “I am unstoppable” written on a faux puzzle piece in your pocket?
Two of these tokens contain the statements “I am courageous” and “I am unstoppable.” Hey, Jesus has his “I am” statements, but why should that guy get to have all the fun! Maybe next they’ll make one with the affirmation, “I can burn with fire and not be consumed.”
The other jigsaw puzzle piece-shaped thing tells the bearer, “Without me the puzzle is incomplete.” Too bad the puzzle is just a picture of dogs playing poker.
10 Responses to “This Motivational CD May Be the Most Depressing Product Ever”
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