Is the “They Rapin’ Everybody” Guy the Next Billy Mays?

In 2010 a news report about an intruder sneaking into the bedroom of a housing project turned Antoine Dodson into an unlikely Internet celebrity:

The video went viral and turned the phrases “They rapin’ everybody,” “Hide yo’ kids, Hide yo’ wife,” “You are so dumb. You are really dumb. For real.” and “You can run and tell that” into memes. This inspired the autotuned song “Bed Intruder,” which became even more popular than the original video:

Apparently someone saw Antoine Dodson and thought he would make a great pitchman for a product called Sex Offender Tracker, which is a smartphone app that tells you the location of registered sex offenders!

Antoine Dodson comes across like a real live version of one of Fat Albert’s friends, and he is even less shameless than Mr. T about peppering his famous catchphrases throughout the infomercial. One can understand the connection between Dodson and this product, but quite frankly he seems more like a person who would use the Sex Offender Tracker to find places to hang out at rather than find places to avoid.

The most frightening thing about this ad is that it could be the start of a trend in which worthless, talentless viral video “celebrities” start showing up as infomercial pitchmen. One warning of this might have come when Kohl’s used a re-written version of Rebecca Black’s idiotic song “Friday” in a commercial:

It will no doubt cost infomercial producers less money to get the endorsement of Internet video “stars” than endorsements from has-been celebrities like Henry Winkler and Lee Majors. I shudder to think of the kinds of products we will see Chris Crocker (“Leave Britney alone!”), Bubb Rubb (“The whistles go ‘woooo'”) and the “Don’t Taze me, bro” guy pitching in the near future.

The popularity of cutesy baby videos online will leave the marketers behind items like the Baby Bullet and the Baby Roll Asleep scrambling to sign a contract with Charlie (“bit my finger”), the talking twins, and innumerable laughing babies.

Likewise, the makers of pet products such as the Cat Genie, PooTrap, and Catch It will earnestly solicit the endorsements of Keyboard Cat, Skateboard Dog, and various canines that say “I love you.” Sadly, the Sneezing Baby Panda, the Dramatic Chipmunk, and the “I like Turtles” boy will miss out on this gravy train due to the lack of products in the market for those animals.


  • 2 Responses to “Is the “They Rapin’ Everybody” Guy the Next Billy Mays?”

  • Maybe the Star Wars Kid and the Numa Numa Guy can get their own infomercials too!

    Comment by euGene on May 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm

  • What about NyanCat?

    Comment by EncoreEnterprisesLLC on July 24, 2012 at 12:59 pm