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A Rebuilt Lee Majors Pitches the Bionic Ear

July 22nd, 2009 by Paul Lucas

The latest case of a former mega-star reduced to doing infomercials is that of Mr. Lee Majors. The star of The Six Million Dollar Man in the 70s and The Fall Guy in the 80s now appears in commercials touting the wonders of the Bionic Ear. This commercial may not be quite as cringe-inducing as the Mr. T Flavorwave Oven infomercial, but it’s still kind of pathetic. The official name of the product is the “Lee Majors Rechargeable Bionic Hearing Aid,” so not only does he have his own name plastered there but the “bionic” reference to his old TV show as well. And, like Mr. T, Lee Majors is forced to make cheesy references to his decades-old TV series in an attempt to sell the product: “Here’s how to get my bionic rechargeable hearing aid, and it won’t cost you six million dollars, although you will think it’s worth it.”

The hearing aid does not cost six million dollars, but I think Lee Majors spent six million dollars on plastic surgery over the last two decades. I don’t know if he is better, stronger, or faster, but he has certainly been rebuilt:

Lee Majors

You know that just before his face lift, the plastic surgeon picked up his scalpel and uttered aloud, “Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.”—the temptation would have been too great to pass up.

For those you who don’t know what I’m talking about:

If Lee Majors’ attempt at being an infomercial pitchman doesn’t work out, he can always take the Joan Rivers slot on the next Celebrity Apprentice.

11 Responses to “A Rebuilt Lee Majors Pitches the Bionic Ear”

  1. Not to get all Bionic-nerdy, but 6 million dollar man didn’t even have bionic hearing! He had amazing sight, and Bionic WOMAN had the awesome hearing. I guess Lindsay Wagner is too busy for informercials.

    Comment by Devika — July 23rd, 2009 at 7:10 am

  2. Devika, I am amazed at your detailed level of pop-culture knowledge!!

    But if they come out with a “Bioinic Eye” it probably will cost 6 million dollars.

    Comment by Paul Lucas — July 23rd, 2009 at 9:20 am

  3. Lindsay Wagner is promoting the Sleep Number Bed these days.

    Comment by Misteri — July 28th, 2009 at 5:00 pm

  4. Good point, Misteri! I totally forgot about Lindsay’s newfound career in promoting overpriced mattresses.

    Comment by Devika — July 29th, 2009 at 6:25 am

  5. It’s probably the same kind of thing as Silver Sonic XL, just with a sad, sad D-list celeb endorsement. Remember the days when it would cost a company a small fortune to get a celebrity to promote their product/attach their name to it?

    Yeah, Lee Majors looks like shit. I have to wonder if he’s nearly as addicted to the knife as MJ was.

    Comment by John — August 1st, 2009 at 1:30 am

  6. Lindsay Wagner & her BIONIC BED!!!!

    Comment by Julie — August 15th, 2009 at 7:44 pm

  7. Just Recently, Jay Leno saw this advertisement and commented:

    Jay Leno:
    I realized the other day how old I’m getting. I was watching some television, when Lee Majors came on advertising the “Bionic Ear.” Depressed, I changed the channel to see the Bionic Woman who has fallen and can’t get up!

    Comment by Chris — October 10th, 2009 at 3:07 pm

  8. MS. WAGNER STILL LOOKS GOOD ENOUGH TO SHARE THE BED WITH…………………

    Comment by Maj. Rentz — October 17th, 2009 at 8:19 am

  9. I’m humiliated to be related to Lee Majors, even if i’m just a distant cousin through my grandma :|

    Comment by Kaitlyn — August 18th, 2010 at 6:37 pm

  10. I have never had such a bad experience with an online product. The “bionic” hearing aid fell out of my ear 1 time and hit the driveway; broke. This was 2 wks short of the “30 day free trial period. I was told I could not return it; could not get my $57.95 or $99.00′s refunded. I asked if I COULD PAY FOR REPAIR; was told NO! This started in Sept,2009; now they are threatening to sue me; refused to refund additional funds they took from my bank account. I was never satified with the product, and told them so less than 1 wk after receiving it. WHAT A JOKE, Mr Majors. How can you, in good faith, back such a lousy item???? I am very disappointed; on “disability” and paid $157.95 for NOTHING! Thanks! for nothing.

    Comment by Jean Jones — December 31st, 2010 at 2:10 pm

  11. i did not purchase the warranty but they keep charging me it on my card. i have called them to take it off and they said they would but i am still getting billed. Plus the thing doesnt work anyway.!

    Comment by glen — September 7th, 2011 at 10:47 am

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