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Boom-a-Ring Lets You Hook Up a Bulky Old Handset to Your Sleek Modern Cell Phone

For some reason Santa failed to stuff a Boom-a-Ring into my stocking this Christmas. As you watch this infomercial, please try to identify the purpose of the Boom-a-Ring and who would possibly want one:

The potential uses for the Boom-a-Ring are these:

1) You need a gag gift to give to a gadget guru. (Say that 5 times fast!)

2) You’re a hipster who just can’t get enough of that “retro” look.

3) Grandpa refuses to use the $300 cell phone you got him because “It doesn’t look like a real phone” and “That thing is too darn small to hold.” With the Boom-a-Ring Gramps can access mobile communications with the kind of 50-year-old form factor he is used to.

4) You want to feel like a platoon sergeant during World War II calling in an air strike on an entrenched enemy position—instead of a dork in the supermarket talking with a telemarketer on a Tracfone.

If you can tolerate listening to the commercial’s mind-numbing take on “Jingle Bells,” you will hear the lyrics:

Boom-a-Ring, Boom-a-Ring,
Boomer all the way!
Oh what fun it is to talk on a Boom a Ring phone today

Can anyone please tell me what the words “Boomer all the way” are supposed to mean in this context?

The end of this commercial may finally provide an answer to who would actually give this thing as a present. A drunk and disjointed Santa Claus cheap enough to go around in such a ratty suit and fake beard probably would end up sticking you with a Boom-a-Ring for Christmas.

C’mon Saint Nick, a simple lump of coal will do.

Comments

  • 8 Responses to “Boom-a-Ring Lets You Hook Up a Bulky Old Handset to Your Sleek Modern Cell Phone”

  • Good lord. ThinkGeek has offered this as a gag gift for awhile now, but why in gods name would anyone think it had mass market appeal?

    Comment by Anne Packrat on January 10, 2011 at 7:22 am

  • “Boomer all the way” to the grave. The generation least likely to give up landlines I guess. I bought one of these from a different company back in 2008. It was cute and all, but pointless.

    Comment by Al Frank on January 10, 2011 at 3:47 pm

  • I love the call in an airstrike comment. I can picture Lee Ermey ordering a Napalm strike with this.

    Comment by Richard Simmons on January 11, 2011 at 8:17 pm

  • Is that a Boom-a-Ring in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

    Comment by euGene on January 12, 2011 at 4:29 pm

  • How am I just hearing about these now? I do want to feel like a platoon sergeant during World War II calling in an air strike on an entrenched enemy position. I love the idea of answering my phone out of my purse in public and pulling out a Boomer all the way man. I want to find the person that invented these and French him/her.

    Comment by liz a on January 12, 2011 at 11:24 pm

  • I was waiting for you to write about the Boom-a-Ring commercial. When I saw it for the first time it just screamed 1980s cheesiness. Like those old 976 and 1-900 Santa numbers.

    Comment by pikapal on January 14, 2011 at 12:52 am

  • I love this ad’s retro vibe. Heck yeah I’ll talk on a Boom-a-Ring phone in public, and I’ll look like an asshole from 1996 doing it.

    Comment by Sarah on February 1, 2011 at 7:21 pm

  • I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the Boom-a-Ring folks have never heard of Bluetooth.

    Comment by JennyFire on February 4, 2011 at 3:15 am

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