Happy Sack: A Useless Product with an Off-Color Name

Don’t you hate it when your cell phone is too far to reach but not too far to see yet you are not able to see the screen because the phone is lying flat instead of upright?

At long last Happy Sack has rescued all of us from this most pervasive of tribulations:

The predicament faced by the producers of the Happy Sack infomercial is that the “problem” their product solves is in fact a non-problem. So to make it seem like a problem, the actress in the beginning has to struggle to reach a mobile phone three feet away as if she were climbing Kilimanjaro with a broken leg while being pursued by a rabid mountain goat.

They then added a sound effect to the “falling” cell phone (at 0:07) that makes it sound as if a giant redwood were being felled.

And look at how far away the woman is sitting from her end table when the non-Happy Sack phone rings…

…and how close she sits before the phone propped-up by Happy Sack rings:

To top it all off, the name “Happy Sack” is synonymous with “Contended Scrotum”—which will probably prove more of a problem for people than whatever problem this product is supposed to be solving.

Happy Sack is available in your choice of black, pink, or zebra…which will make is easy to coordinate with your zebra-print Snuggie.