Happy Sack: A Useless Product with an Off-Color Name

Don’t you hate it when your cell phone is too far to reach but not too far to see yet you are not able to see the screen because the phone is lying flat instead of upright?

At long last Happy Sack has rescued all of us from this most pervasive of tribulations:

The predicament faced by the producers of the Happy Sack infomercial is that the “problem” their product solves is in fact a non-problem. So to make it seem like a problem, the actress in the beginning has to struggle to reach a mobile phone three feet away as if she were climbing Kilimanjaro with a broken leg while being pursued by a rabid mountain goat.

They then added a sound effect to the “falling” cell phone (at 0:07) that makes it sound as if a giant redwood were being felled.

And look at how far away the woman is sitting from her end table when the non-Happy Sack phone rings…

…and how close she sits before the phone propped-up by Happy Sack rings:

To top it all off, the name “Happy Sack” is synonymous with “Contended Scrotum”—which will probably prove more of a problem for people than whatever problem this product is supposed to be solving.

Happy Sack is available in your choice of black, pink, or zebra…which will make is easy to coordinate with your zebra-print Snuggie.


  • 6 Responses to “Happy Sack: A Useless Product with an Off-Color Name”

  • At 1:02 what the hell is up with that kid’s clothes?

    Comment by Josh Einstein on September 18, 2011 at 2:34 pm

  • In what universe is a tiny beanbag a twenty dollar value? I know that infomercial prices are inflated, but that’s out of hand. I agree… Happy Sack is a useless solution to a non—problem!

    Comment by Liz on October 26, 2011 at 2:23 pm

  • chumps that watch this stuff will buy any of the junk sold, thinking they are getting a “good deal”. Sellers make big money on the idiocy of america. Congrats!

    Comment by ChumpVille on February 12, 2012 at 5:54 pm

  • I love how they remind us that we have to find our phone and pick it up when somebody calls.

    Comment by loooona on October 25, 2012 at 1:50 am

  • I wonder if the number shown on the Android phone in the beginning is real or not, and if it’s still active. I wouldn’t be too surprised if someone made a mistake and it was an actual number used by one of the commercial’s crew members.

    Comment by Jay on September 6, 2013 at 11:51 am

  • I laughed so hard, so surprising that this is a product. Fuck my life.

    Comment by Emily on May 15, 2019 at 1:25 pm