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Bored with Life? MoTato and Boardwalk Tater Tornado Offer Relief from Your Inauthentic Existence

Another day. Another meal. Another opportunity to ponder the meaninglessness of this thing you call life. A plate is placed in front of you, and there it is again. Yet another pile of French fried potatoes. One fry cut just like another, crowded in on each other, a symbol of the faceless desperation of mass man in a post-industrial age. In your ennui, you methodically and mechanically chew and swallow one potato bit after another. To relieve your anomie, you struggle to recall if mother died that morning or not, but the absurdity of it all prevents you from grasping onto any definite answer.

Apparently, the existential angst provoked by the monotony of French fries and mashed potatoes so pervades the human condition that not one but two different spiral cut potato products have hit the airwaves.

The first is called Mo’Tato and this infomercial is hosted by a pitchman named Tom Megalis:

One thing to notice—other than the incredibly cheesy use of mo’ for “more” throughout this commercial—is that MoTato touts seasoned fried potatoes as some sort of health food. Tom insists, “Mo’Tato lets potatoes be what they are: Vegetables!” as the words, “Potatoes are Good for You!” appear onscreen.

Host Tom Megalis has a good chance at becoming the next Billy Mays, as he seems to have found the sweet spot between being annoying and being too annoying. I wonder if we’ll be seeing mo’ of this pitchman in the future.

The other spiral cut potato maker vying for your attention is the Boardwalk Tater Tornado touted by seasoned pitchman Anthony Sullivan:

Even without the help of the mo’ word, the Boardwalk Tater Tornado ad also indulges in awful puns: “Add a twist to plain old veggies for Spring vegetables all year round.”

You may question how long the “fun” of eating a twisty potato on a stick could last, but research has concluded that regular consumption of spiral cut potatoes can reduce desire to escape the crushing burdensomeness of human existence by up to 50% over other potato snacks.

Comments

  • 5 Responses to “Bored with Life? MoTato and Boardwalk Tater Tornado Offer Relief from Your Inauthentic Existence”

  • I hesitate to bring this up…I *really* hesitate to bring this up…but does the shot at 1:41 where two young girls simultaneous grab the tip of the man’s “Tater Tornado” seem somewhat suggestive?

    Comment by euGene on September 25, 2010 at 12:02 pm

  • Love the Camus reference.

    Comment by Angela on September 25, 2010 at 5:13 pm

  • The Mo Tato! Anyone remember the Rotato?

    Along these lines, here are some additional product suggestions:

    A backpack strap that dispenses French Fries while hiking: The GoTato!

    In the tradition of the VegeMatic and the Bullet Express, the latest food chopping gadget powered by your own vacuum cleaner: The FloTato!

    An indivdual crock pot that fits one potato for that “deep cooked” goodness: The SloTato!

    Soy fries for people who are allergic to taters: The FauxTato!

    SAT training quizzes printed on stamped potato chips: The KnowTato!

    Spherical plastic storage wear designed to fit each potato snugly: The StowTato!

    The possibilities here really are almost endless. Unfortunately.

    Comment by Scott Mercer on September 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm

  • I just noticed that with the Boardwalk Tater Tornado, you get only 15 bamboo skewers, but the Mo’Tato gives you 100 free bamboo skewers.

    Boy, what a cheap bastard that Sully is. Those bamboo skewers cost about a penny per hundred to make.

    Comment by Scott Mercer on September 27, 2010 at 12:45 pm

  • Interesting fact about Tom Megalis, is that now his son is a well known internet personality on Vine (Nicholas Megalis). He’s been featured in a couple as well. So we may here of new things from him soon.

    Comment by Zelda on November 27, 2013 at 5:07 pm

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