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Pet Zoom Pet Park Commercial Gives Your Dog a Voice…Be Very Afraid

Do you talk to your dog? If so, you probably do it in a cutesy, baby-talk tone that makes anyone unfortunate enough to overhear you want to slit his wrist.

And you probably imagine that your dog conducts his internal monologue in the same kind of sweet and precious toddler-speak, similar to the kind of thing you’ll find on those abominable and interminable LOL cats pictures.

Apparently the producers of the TV commercial for Pet Zoom Pet Park conceive of your dog’s voice in an entirely different way. The Pet Zoom Pet Park is a product very similar to Potty Patch: It is a piece of fake grass that lets your dog pee in your house. The target market for these products must be people who strongly desire for their homes to be filled with the aroma of dog urine—but don’t want to stain their carpets.

Check out the “voices” of the three dogs at the beginning of the infomercial:

The echoing voice of the dog who pleads, “I have to go now and I can’t take this anymore!” sounds like the desperate voice of a tormented soul calling out from the depths of hell, imploring the living to turn from their folly while they still have time.

The ad shows a snippy bitch whining, “It’s too cold to go outside to pee” but leaves off the rest of her statement: “…so I’ll just use your $800,000 house as my personal toilet.”

And that last dog who runs around frantically shouting, “I gotta go! I gotta go!” just needs to get shot with a tranquilizer gun.

The same marketing geniuses who dreamed up those voices had the audacity to name this product “Pet Park”—as if tossing a piece of Astroturf in the corner of your stuffy apartment is the equivalent of taking your dog for walk in a park. But unlike many real parks the Pet Zoom Pet Park doesn’t include a slide or swing set…yet.

Comments

  • 7 Responses to “Pet Zoom Pet Park Commercial Gives Your Dog a Voice…Be Very Afraid”

  • Interesting how the ad never mentions that your dog may need to do more than pee… And clearly never requires exercise on a day when there’s bad weather.

    Comment by Monica Hamburg - Your Dose oF Lunacy on January 3, 2010 at 5:06 pm

  • This company is… I can’t even think of a name to describe how ridiculous they are and how their system works. It’s the worst I’ve dealt with in a very long time! If you buy from them, don’t try to cancel your order! They’ve got a reason from the git-go why it can’t be done!

    Comment by Susan on January 5, 2010 at 8:54 am

  • Actually, I order the pet park a few weeks ago and received it last week. I had to call them because I ordered 2 instead of one. They happily canceled one of the pet parks and refunded my money back to my account. As for how well it works, let’s just say that my chihuahua hasn’t made any messes in the house.

    Comment by Andre on January 12, 2010 at 11:28 am

  • I like to imagine how these customers empty this….. have you ever had a big shallow dish or bin filled with liquid and tried to walk with it?!

    Comment by Alli on January 28, 2010 at 12:33 pm

  • For those small minded among you who couldn’t conceive of a situation where a dog owner could not take their dog on a long walk due to an injury or had their fence demolished in a winter storm,ponder the possibility that keeping one of these on a fenced in deck makes a lot of sense as a temporary fix. Until I can let my dog run free in a fenced in yard and/or heal(myself) from knee surgery, this will allow my dog to do his business outside on my deck in a designated area until my husband or kids return home to walk it. Better than peeing in the house or under my patio table!

    Comment by linda on March 21, 2010 at 4:11 pm

  • I wanted to watch the video, but the person that put it up removed it so I’ll have to search for another one.

    And why every time there’s a review for a product like this, someone has to come along and bring up injured people? I don’t really want to see Debbie Downer-type comments on a humor website.

    Comment by BOTR on February 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm

  • @BOTR See, people take it personally when the products they spend thier hard earned money on are ridiculed, no matter how ridiculous the purchase.
    They have to find a way to justify getting ripped off.
    I too have seen products on here that I might give a try, but I still get the joke 🙂

    Comment by mike ski on October 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm

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