Bumpits Inserts: The Perfect Accessory for White Trash Hair Styles
April 17th, 2009 by Paul Lucas
The commercial for Bumpits Volumizing Hair Inserts has gotten a lot of airtime lately. Bumpits is a piece of plastic perfect for all those high hairstyles beloved by trailer trash and Jersey girls throughout the 1980s:
Not only do the Bumpits hairstyles look like something out of the 80s, but the low-budget production values make their TV commercial look like something you’d seen on a third-rate cable station circa 1986.
In this version of the Bumpits ad they mention a “Rock Star” Bumpit—“A taller bump for when you absolutely must rock.” But when you go to the www.Bumpits.com website it looks like they’ve changed the name of the “Rock Star Bumpit” to the “Hollywood Bumpit.” Frankly, the name “Hollywood Bumpit” will have a greater appeal to their natural customer base of National Enquirer readers who love hearing about where they can buy knock-off versions of red carpet fashions. (Of course, the name “Rock Star Bumpit” might have increased Bumpit’s popularity among Rock of Love contestants.)
Bumpits is the most significant hair product for white trash sold via infomercial since the legendary FlowBee.
In the 1980s, men of a certain socio-economic status kept their mullets looking awesome with the FlowBee vacuum hair cutting attachment.
Now with Bumpits the female trailer park set finally gets an infomercial hair product of their own.
A lot of that hair reminds me of the movie “Hairspray”. It looks like a giant nest of insects are waiting inside those cocoons.
Comment by Al Frank — April 17th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I love the way they spell “happie” in their URL.
Comment by Dominic — April 17th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Oh. Oh dear.
Comment by lani — April 17th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Obvious brand-extension opportunity just around the corner, I’m sure: “BumpTits”
Comment by T — April 18th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
It is not a tumor.
Comment by Hairball — April 22nd, 2009 at 7:30 am
Is that baseball pitcher Randy Johnson using the Flowbee?
Comment by TR — April 29th, 2009 at 11:43 am
THANK YOU for talking about Bumpits making us all the more famous!! I love you!! I love the 80′s!!! I especially LOVE LOVE LOVE BIGHAIR!!! Kisses and hugs, Kelly inventor of Bumpits!
Comment by Kelly Fitzpatrick — May 29th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
I loved reading your comments about this hair thing. The commercial shows a series of pretty girls who become Frankenstien’s “Big Haired” Bride. I screamed and laughed out loud as each girl became something from the 80′s and the Musical “Hair Spray!” LOL
Comment by Sandee — June 5th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
i live in australia and every one wears their hair in the bumpit style WHITE or BLACK i dont care if you dont like the advert but i think you naming it something like white trash is racist.
Comment by lauren — November 7th, 2009 at 9:07 am
@ Lauren:
If you’re in Australia, perhaps you aren’t aware of what “white trash” means.
Comment by Canaduck — November 9th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
doesn’t the term ‘white trash’ kinda explain itself? white….trash… can’t really misinterpret that.and unfortunately we get aloooot of american crap t.v in oz so we are aware of the meaning.anyway,that aside- very funny write up.
Comment by shannon — November 25th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
wow @Canaduck you are an IDIOT. your friggin name makes me want to barf on you. i bet you were one of those fat people in high school that everyone picked on. haha. i seriously think you are white trash. actually, no. i think you are below white trash. i wouldn’t even pay you to be my maid. BITCH
Comment by IHATECANADUCK — March 10th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Wow. I have a VP shunt in my brain. It causes a visible bump on my head that looks similar to the small Bumpit. They could have saved a lot of styling time and just gone to a neurosurgeon. The end result may even be less horrific.
Comment by Xan — December 13th, 2011 at 5:25 pm