ERA Presents Moxie Awards to Best Infomercials of 2010

It’s September again, which means it is time for the Electronic Retailing Association (ERA) to present its annual awards to the best infomercials of the year. In past years I have noted that these awards seem to be pretty much the same thing every time (read my take on the 2009, 2008, 2007, and 2006 ERA awards). But one big change made this year was to name the ERA award the “Moxie” so as to fool people into thinking this thing is as important as an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, or Clio—and much better than the “good effort” trophy you got for participating in your office picnic’s potato sack race.

According to the ERA, “The word ‘moxie’ suggests energy, initiative, determination, skill and the ability to face challenges with spirit and courage—all characteristics that embody the DR marketing industry.” Indeed, few of us can imagine the initiative and courage it takes to say, “And if you call in the next two minutes you will get this bonus absolutely free” for the thousandth time.

The list of awards given out this year was even longer than last year, in a continuing effort to ensure that as many people as possible feel good by getting an award (as well as keep contributing dues to the ERA). Thus attendees at the ERA gala got to see awards handed out in such thrilling categories as “Best Short Form, DR Corporate Branding” and “Best Mobile Marketing Campaign.” They also decided to break up the two most important awards, Best Long Form Infomercial and Best Short Form Infomercial, into Over $250k and Under $250k and Over $50k and Under $50k, respectively. (The initial list of categories included a “People’s Choice” awards for long and short form infomercial, but this category is strangely missing from the list of nominees and winners.)

So spritz on your fancy perfume, ladies; and snap on your best cufflinks, gentlemen; as we announce the winners of the 2010 Moxie Awards…

Best Celebrity Presenter

And the nominees are…

Valerie Bertinelli for Meaningful Beauty

Joan Lunden for Murad Resurgence

Montel Williams for Living Well with Montel

And the winner is…Montel Williams for Living Well with Montel.

First of all, there are no less than eight products being marketed with infomercials titled “Living Well with Montel.” The list of nominees and winners listed on the ERA website nowhere states which of these versions of “Living Well with Montel” received the Best Celebrity Presenter award, although the likeliest candidate is the HealthMaster infomercial. Secondly, Montel Williams has an unfair advantage, as his good friend Sylvia Browne no doubt cast one of her voodoo potion hex spells to ensure he would beat out Valerie Bertinelli and Joan Lunden for a Moxie. I hoped they walked out in protest.

Best Male Presenter

And the nominees are…

Chaz Dean for Wen Hair Care

Anthony Sullivan for Jupiter Jack

Anthony Sullivan for Turbo Snake

And the winner is…Anthony Sullivan for Jupiter Jack

I think everyone can agree that Anthony Sullivan’s superb work in the Jupiter Jack infomercial was far superior to his half-assed performance in the Turbo Snake infomercial. (I recycled that comment from my review of the 2006 ERA Awards, but if they can keep nominating the same people over and over then I can keep repeating the same quips over and over!)

Chaz Dean didn’t really resent being up against two Anthony Sullivans because for Chaz Dean just being nominated in the Best Male Presenter category was accomplishment enough.

I should also note that the Jupiter Jack and Turbo Snake commercials also faced-off in the “Best Short Form, Housewares” category, only this time Turbo Snake emerged victorious…for no reason anyone can explain.

Best Female Presenter

And the nominees are…

Leslie Blodgett for Bare Escentuals

Forbes Riley for Sienna Q Steam Mop

Rhonda Shear for Ahh Bra

And the winner is…Forbes Riley for Sienna Q Steam Mop (an infomercial I have never seen for a product I have never heard of). This makes up for being rudely passed over for her excellent work in the AromaTrim infomercial.

Best Short Form of the Year – Under $50K

And the nominees are…

St. Jude’s Hospital “Milestones”

Turbo Snake

Your Baby Can Read

And the winner is…St. Jude’s Hospital “Milestones.” This award was clearly an exercise in feel-good “political correctness” to make the attendees think they are “making a difference” in the world, instead of peddling $19.95 junk with overpriced shipping.

Best Short Form of the Year – Over $50K

And the nominees are…

Bare Escentuals “Click, Lock & Go”

Proactiv Solution: Katy Perry

X-Factor One Pay

And the winner is…Proactiv Solution: Katy Perry. Infomercials for Proactiv Solution also won the short form awards in 2006 and 2007, but this was the first time an award was ever presented to an infomercial featuring someone who had bared her breasts on Sesame Street.

Best Long Form of the Year – Under $250K

And the nominees are…

Amish Heat Surge Fireplace

Brainetics Math & Memory System

Onebrella

And the winner is…Amish Heat Surge Fireplace. This is the infomercial co-hosted by Milton Lawrence/Lawrence Ross, who also hosts the ExtenZe infomercial, but this award in no way makes up for the years of ERA’s shameless blacklisting of the ExtenZe male enhancement infomercials, including the outstanding work of Bridgetta Tomarchio, Jimmy Johnson, and Ron Jeremy!

Best Long Form of the Year – Over $250K

And the nominees are…

Insanity

Meaningful Beauty

P90X – The Answer

And the winner is…P90X. This is yet another claustrophobic award category as both Insanity and P90X are workout video programs from BeachBody, and Meaningful Beauty is yet another Guthy-Renker beauty product. Meaningful Beauty won the long form award in 2008 and was nominated in 2009.

You can read the full list of nominees and the list of winners from ERA.

Once again, I felt compelled to boycott this year’s ERA awards gala. This time in protest that the infomercial for Subtle Butt was not even nominated in any category! It’s an outrage I tell you, an outrage!!