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CuddleUppets and Beyond: The Pillow Pets Rip Offs Keep On Coming

The parade of infomercials selling products inspired by Pillow Pets just keeps marching on.

As previously noted, the pattern is: 1) Make a stuffed animal that can be converted into something else 2) Produce a TV commercial with a really annoying jingle so children will continually harass their parents into buying it.

CuddleUppets: The Puppet/Blanket

The CuddleUppets (www.CuddleUppets.com) have been gaining popularity recently—to the delight of children and horror of parents everywhere:

The Cuddle Uppets commercial sure meets the requirement of having an obnoxious jingle:

They’re Cuddle CuddleUppets
Cuddle CuddelUppets
Blankets that are puppets
Blankets that are puppets
They cuddle and hug
And wrap you in love
Play with you all day
Then sleep the night away
Cuddle. Hug. Play. Love…
The fun never ends
With Cuddle Up friends
When you say goodnight
They hug and hold you tight…
They’re Cuddle CuddleUppets
Cuddle CuddelUppets
Blankets that are puppets
Blankets that are puppets

I was going to make a joke about the size of the heads on the Cuddle Uppets puppets, until I saw…

Pillow Puppets: The Puppet/Pillow

The monstrously large heads of the Pillow Puppets are not only bigger than the heads of the kids playing with them but many times larger than the heads of the actual animals these things are supposed to be representing.

The song on this ad is not so much annoying as just sappy:

Pillow Puppets
Creative play that lasts all day
Pillow Puppets
Pillow…Pu-ppets

If an older kid socks your toddler in the face for playing with a baby’s toy, at least the Pillow Puppet head will provide a good amount of cushioning.

Glow Buddy: The Teddy Bear/Night Light

What child wouldn’t want the comfort of spending the night with a polar bear who suffers from severe radiation poisoning? That’s what your kid will get with Glow Buddy, a teddy bear that glows in the dark:

The original version of the Glow Buddy commercial lacked any kind of song, but this updated version includes a half-assed attempt at creating a disco-sounding jingle:

Nobody shines a bright as my Glow Buddy
Glow Buddy huggable night light.

At least the “Pen Light” included as a free bonus will get your kid started on his career as a tattoo artist.

And with each purchase of Glow Buddy a donation is made to the victims of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant accident.

Stuffies: The Stuffed Animal/Secret Compartment

With Stuffies, kids can play at being a freelance vivisectionist:

Finally toddlers have a fun place to keep $50,000 in Krugerrands and a .45 automatic.

Dream Lites: The Stuffed Animal/Light Show

Tired of other people ripping them off, Pillow Pets decided to rip themselves off by creating Dream Lites:

This text will be replaced

The operatic anthem for this one goes:

Dream Lite
Sleep tight
Starry night
With Dream Lite.
Dream Lite
All night.
Keep dreaming on
With Dream Lite.

Dream Lites are great to keep on hand for the next time your kid licks a rub-on tattoo that turns out to be laced with LSD.

Comments

  • 9 Responses to “CuddleUppets and Beyond: The Pillow Pets Rip Offs Keep On Coming”

  • Some of those things are just new takes on old toys. Like the blanket with a stuffed animal head has been around for a while. They just made it into a puppet.

    The Glow Buddy reminds me of the Glo Friends and Moondreamers toys that were made by Hasbro.

    Comment by pikapal on January 24, 2012 at 2:08 am

  • Comment by Al Frank on January 25, 2012 at 8:35 pm

  • Comment by pikapal on February 9, 2012 at 3:02 pm

  • They give a fake discount code on their web site and just keep playing that creepy theme music on and on and on…

    Comment by Dex on February 19, 2012 at 9:43 am

  • I read this blog all the time but haven’t commented yet. You are hilarious. I do have to stand up for the much maligned Pillow Pet. We got each of our kids one and they are awesome. They are truly cozy pillows (yes, I have used them myself..) and the quality is superb. That being said, the other ones remind me of those Batmon and Spaderman toys you see at the 99¢ stores. (Speaking of that, a store near here sells knockoffs called “Pillow Pest”. Lmao) Come on. They even have slippers that turn into stuffed animals. Who wears their shoes and then sleeps with them. Wtf? And those jingles?Praise the lord and pass the ammunition. O_o

    Comment by Severeine on March 8, 2012 at 11:11 am

  • Yeah, Fukushima Daiichi now manufactures toys.

    Comment by Lance W. Korn on March 11, 2012 at 12:17 am

  • Actually, the Pillow Pets were inspired by these toys:

    They are called Popples. They were very popular in the 80’s and achieved the popularity Care Bears had. They even had a Saturday morning cartoon! Here are two episodes of it:

    And here’s the live action special, It’s Popple Time, which is also their origin story:

    Comment by mimitchi33 on April 6, 2012 at 4:10 pm

  • You’re pretty funny I applaud you. Oh and there’s another Pillow Pet ripoff out there called SeatPets: http://www.seatpetsfun.com They go on your seatbelt or something.

    Comment by Palamon on August 14, 2012 at 6:52 pm

  • Yes I have been laughing at all the stuff that has been written on here I agree with you on the corny commercials and my 4 year old has been hounding me for some off this stuff. The one that puts the lights on the ceiling was so small it looked big on tv they must have gotten a very small child and very small beds do the toy looked bigger on tv or something any way I could hardly believe it was really what it was I swear that pillow toy was very small. Any way the seatpetfun.com for the seat belt in your car I think is very good I plain to buy 2 of them for my kids my baby girl is 7 months old and my boy is 4 and when both of them fall asleep in the car I feel so sorry for them their heads hang down so much you think its going to snap off and they both get big red marks on their necks and people are always asking what happened to there necks and when you tell them they almost act like they don’t believe you. Oh and I agree with #7you the first time I seen these thing the first thing that popped in my head was the toy poppies I had some when I was growing up and the care bears. I wish they still made alot off the toys they made in the 80s because they were alot stronger alot of toys these day are just junk that has to be thrown out a week or two after there bought. And most of the time the day you buy them you’ll have to throw it out

    Comment by pamela on August 22, 2012 at 8:16 am

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