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New Extamax Infomercial Shows Us “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly”

Bad news for sentient beings everywhere: A brand new version of the Extamax infomercial has hit the airwaves. This one is called Candid Confessions: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, so at least the last half of the title is accurate.

For the most part, the new program is similar to the previous Extamax infomercial—lots of scantily dressed women in their twenties making sure we all get the message that “size matters” and that they routinely kick guys out of bed who don’t measure up. Hard to decide who should be more offended: Men who are told that 75% to 80% of their worth depends on their genital size, or women who are being represented by such brain dead tramps?

The specific girls featured are different, and Dr. Victoria Zdrok, the Ukrainian porn star with a PhD, has been replaced as host by Tiffany Granath, who does some sort of talk show for Playboy radio. Also different is an onscreen disclaimer that pops up throughout the program:

It says, “Participants in Candid Confessions were renumerated (sic.)”—what they meant to say was “remunerated,” which means the women were paid to tell us their thoughts on male genitalia. I’d say the producers got their money’s worth because this infomercial is probably more shameless than the old one.

Perhaps the statement that most strains credibility here comes from a blonde named Cody:

“The guy I’m dating right now is actually amazing in the bedroom and I like to brag to all my friends about it and…if we’re feeling really frisky…invite them…maybe they want to experience it too.”

They must have “renumerated” a writer from the Vivid Video script department to concoct that tale. Sorry to break it to you men, but if your penis grows an inch longer your mate will not feel compelled to “share” you with all her sexy friends. But men watching this will believe it. Because men are stupid.

A woman named Jenny plays a role similar to the one Ami did in the previous infomercial, because she is the only person on the program who might actually be a she-male:

Two statements on this program make one wonder if these girls aren’t spending time in even worse places than sleazy nightclubs. One is when Dimitri says, “If he has a small penis I probably won’t talk to him.”

How, exactly, does she know a guy has a small penis before she has even talked to him?

The other statement comes from Jamie who says that if a guy has a “big package” he will benefit because “If you just show it around, people will probably want to touch it.”

Where do guys get to “show it around” in the hopes that people might “touch it?”

The most outlandish comments throughout the Extamax infomercial probably come from a 28-year-old Leah Remini look-a-like named Nicole.

She insists that “If you got a good-sized member you can probably figure the rest of life out eventually.” Hey, it worked well for John C. Holmes!

She then goes on to offer sympathy for men afflicted with an undersized member: “‘Cause for women…we don’t have something like that…[that] could be like such a dealbreaker, you know.” Hmmmm….I’m guessing men might be able to think of a few of their own “dealbreakers”…probably within 5 milliseconds.

If you’re in the mood to despair over the human race, watch some of the lowlights from the Extamax infomercial:

Comments

  • 20 Responses to “New Extamax Infomercial Shows Us “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly””

  • The Good: Holly
    The Bad: Nicole
    The Ugly: Hazel

    Comment by euGene on February 20, 2013 at 11:40 pm

  • I’m guessing this isn’t the first time these girls have been “renumerated”

    Comment by bookendz on February 21, 2013 at 11:50 am

  • These ExtaMax infomercials confirm a long-held belief of mine: if you’re someone who believes women are smarter than men, it will never be a man who would convince you otherwise; it will be another woman. Of course, that’s not to men are smarter than women, either.

    Comment by Thomas on February 23, 2013 at 3:00 am

  • I remember a short story I read as a kid: “Examination Day,” by Henry Slesar. It’s about a society where kids have to take an IQ test. If they do well, they’re executed.

    I imagine these are the kind of people who are left over.

    Comment by Julie on February 24, 2013 at 2:12 pm

  • I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel…

    Comment by Al Frank on February 25, 2013 at 5:26 pm

  • Im deeply hurt by this and it doesn’t matter if its a joke or not.It is the whole vile smear campaign in society today (especially in the western world)to slam the male period.Slam the guy on his height,slam the guy on his monetary value and worst- trash the guy for something(his size)which cannot be changed.Women have been crapped on by the media no doubt about it-but they have never been subjected to this kinda crap-especially in an infomercial format (breasts/weight vs penis size is apples and oranges were talking a sex organ here!) and on forums and blogs all over the net.Imagine guys going on about women being “loose” down there for 30 minutes and ripping them beyond belief.The female blogosphere of feminsts/psedo-fems etc.would be killing it,they’d be crying about patriarchy,misogyny and the whole nine.Sad what has become of women these days,i guess hurting us dudes is how alot of them get off:(

    Comment by TJ on February 26, 2013 at 3:35 am

  • Oh TJ, you sound like a whiny MRA-er who takes something idiotic like an infomerical and tries to makes it into REAL issue.

    This informerical is no different than any of the other infomericals that are targeted at women. They ALL try to play into our insecurities about looks and self worth to make money. This particular infomerical is blatant because that’s what stupid men understand. No, all men are not stupid but any man who can’t see this is a sad attempt to scare you into buying some pill so “hot” women will want to bang you is stupid.

    And if you loath the Western world so very much, check out of it. Believe me, no one will miss one more whiny dude who can barely construct a proper paragraph whilst trying to play the martyr. You obviously have some serious issues with women that go far beyond this infomerical and any other rational train of thought.

    Comment by Kyla on March 3, 2013 at 5:18 am

  • Hmm,Kyla you sound like you may be a 200lb white cow? I think it is YOU Kyla who has some issues otherwise you would have never of put the screws to “TJ” like that.Possibly he is right.”TJ” is correct btw imo it is socially acceptable to trash men wholesale nowadays.Id have to wonder what the reaction to the opposite version of this would be if it were some vaginal-tightening-cream or whatever.So in “TJ”s defense Kyla-screw YOU!

    Comment by Geoff in Au on March 4, 2013 at 1:45 am

  • Well…everyone knows that the only ‘tight’ chick in the whole bunch is “jenny”.Yup you can’t beat the ‘TAP’ fellas.The ‘TAP’ drives all the (white) boys bonkers!Poor cody,holly,nicole etc theyre going to be stuck turning trix on a street corner in Compton to make money for rent and to pay for their 30 welfare sucklings.Sometimes life is fair:) Hopefully asian immigration to the U.S. and Canada continues in droves!!!

    Comment by Jason_77 on March 17, 2013 at 1:26 am

  • these girls are probably new age feminist types…well guess what? All of history refutes feminist ideology while science refutes your claims to equality.Chew on that awhile.Also feminism was created so ugly-white-american-broads could gets dates and attempt to get laid.The truth hurts and is not always easy.

    Comment by simon says on March 22, 2013 at 1:02 am

  • “Women don’t have something like that, that’s such a deal breaker.”

    Um, yeah. Right. Women are never judged on their appearance or physical attributes AT ALL. Sure.

    Comment by Hugo Bronson on March 23, 2013 at 8:34 pm

  • Am i the only one who thinks **Tiffany Granath** appears to be a sandwich or two away from ballooning up into mama cass territoty?? Hard to believe she posed for Playboy,she isn’t too attractive and her doing this info-mercial just to make a buck and slamming dudes makes her a reprobate:)Yes it does.

    Comment by kojack on March 27, 2013 at 1:51 am

  • I can’t believe this has to be said, but could this be apples and oranges because a Woman’s insecurities surrounding appearances don’t exactly include sexual relations but simply being accepted?

    Kyla proposes something sensible because if you truly don’t care, it wouldn’t be a problem. Women don’t make it a problem and if they do, they’re not exactly worth caring about. There’s always plenty of ways to work with sexuality, but there’s only one way to work around personal insecurities and that alone will hold you back far, far more than having a tiny dick.

    Comment by J4son on April 9, 2013 at 4:39 am

  • Geoff in Au,
    It’s obvious that this screen name along with “Jason_77” and “simon says” is actually “TJ”. Dude, if you’re gonna drum up support for yourself, at least write in a different style and learn how to put a space AFTER the punctuation at the end of a sentence.

    Thanks for the “screw you” offer but I’ll pass. I think it’s rather obvious by now that you have a small willy and are routinely bashed by fat, white women for it which is why you ranted like a loon to begin with. I don’t see any other men on here taking this personally which is telling.

    There is a society for men with small sex organs, ya know. Google it and join up post haste. I suspect you’ll be a wee bit (pun intended) less angry if you find others of your own kind and can commiserate. The first step is reaching out!!!!

    Comment by Kyla on April 17, 2013 at 2:51 pm

  • kyla is proof that some vaginas really do stink and are as wide as the grand canyon lol! lol! thx dame

    Comment by DUH on April 18, 2013 at 9:24 am

  • ummmm dunno…..if this were reversed women would be claiming bias and misogyny……the gurls here r sloots IMHO Avg size is like 5-6 in,so i guess some women are just ummmmmm loose? who knows

    Comment by driveby on April 28, 2013 at 10:44 pm

  • Perfect example of a bunch of used pigs that haven’t a chance in hell with a lasting relationship.
    I wouldn’t touch any of them. I would bet over half of them are on some type antibiotic.

    Comment by Sarge on April 30, 2013 at 7:02 pm

  • @Kyla

    ur a pig and ur comments disgust me.Class get some pronto K?

    Comment by 54321 on May 29, 2013 at 11:58 pm

  • WOMEN act like lowlife sluts these days,not surprising.Afterall science refutes their claims to equality so no wonder they act like the skanks in the vid or like poster kyla

    Comment by Mikey on September 9, 2013 at 6:33 pm

  • I HAVE A SMALL BLK DIK,THATS WHY I HATE WHITE AMERICA.

    Comment by Barrack Obama on December 23, 2013 at 12:06 am

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