Dallas the ExtaMax Bitch Shows Up on Millionaire Matchmaker

The ExtaMax male enhancement pills infomercial subjected viewers to a long line of stupid, scummy tramps, yet a woman named Dallas stood out and made a real impression as one of the stupidest, scummiest and trampiest. Her comment “You can’t be a man if you only have a one-incher” is an insight for the ages.

It turns out that Dallas had also been a contestant on the VH1 reality show Rock of Love, in which a bunch of near-whores screw has-been rocker Bret Michaels. Apparently Dallas is continuing her career in reality TV, because recently she made an appearance on the Bravo show Millionaire Matchmaker.

On Millionaire Matchmaker, professional matchmaker Patti Stanger tries to fix up her millionaire clients with the choicest females for long-term romance. So it won’t surprise you to find out that Dallas was rejected after her first interview with Patti. Was Dallas rejected because she had been on a sleazy infomercial selling penis pills? Was Dallas rejected because she has so many STDs that the doctors can’t count them all? No, Dallas was rejected because she…isn’t Jewish! One of Patti’s clients had expressed a preference for finding a Jewish woman, and Dallas is not kosher in any way. (Ironically, that client ended up picking a gentile hottie.)

Dallas admits she is not Jewish and claims to be…a Satanist! Which, come to think of it, isn’t all that surprising:

Even in disappointment Dallas manages to stay classy.

In case you missed Dallas on the ExtaMax infomercial you can see her imparting wisdom at the end of this clip:


  • 8 Responses to “Dallas the ExtaMax Bitch Shows Up on Millionaire Matchmaker”

  • Why hasn’t someone snapped this charmer up and put a ring on her finger? Seriously though, I wouldn’t be surprised if she hasn’t had a traumatic chilhood and/or was spoiled rotten.

    Comment by Al Frank on March 18, 2009 at 1:58 pm

  • Thanks for that one Paul. After watching that clip I need to go to the free clinic for some heavy medication.

    Comment by Kyle Varnell on March 19, 2009 at 12:19 am

  • Look up the word “skank” in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of Dallas.

    Comment by Anon on March 19, 2009 at 8:49 am

  • “I coulda been fucking shopping.”

    Comment by Canaduck on March 26, 2009 at 2:27 pm

  • This “Dallas” character is a vapid STD-ridden skank with an IQ of -12, but I do think that she was unfairly discriminated against. “I doubt you’re the Ethiopian Jew”… kinda racist in my bank, and I’m not one to really call out racism like that.

    Comment by Steve L. on April 14, 2009 at 10:31 am

  • “there are so many ways of improving and impressing their lover that you don’t have to have a large penis to do.” – Dr. Z, Penthouse, 2004

    Hmmm . . . so, does penis size matter? Well, she says one thing, but then says another now.

    I thought women got smarter with age. Apparently not this one.

    Comment by DC on April 21, 2009 at 2:00 am

  • She’s not to bad looking, but I wouldn’t have sex with her. Especially about her comment about your not a real man if you have a 1 incher. I’m surprised that I haven’t seen her in a porn film yet. Her “high” standards of men should be no problem for her in that field. Though if she did star in a porn film I don’t think I would watch it.

    Comment by Anthony on April 22, 2009 at 12:37 pm

  • I love the show but not sure what that funny looking man with strange hair (I think his name is Deston) is doing on the show. His hair is awful yet Patti criticizes her clients hair as if he is not in the room. Bad choice Patti. He is a distraction (in a negative way). He doesn’t sound too bright either. Maybe the hair is what is making him sound wierd.
    Look forward to this season’s show. I hope you get rid of you know who. I am sure I am not the only person that is bringing this to your attention. Maybe he is a relative but still you could do something with that rediculous hair-do

    Comment by Vivian on January 8, 2010 at 9:28 pm