FreshCloz: The Home Dry Cleaning Product with the Stupidly Unphonetic Name

FreshCloz supposedly uses the power of ozone to freshen and deodorize your clothes. You hang this home dry cleaning product in your closet and place your clothes inside to keep them smelling good as new.

I have no problem with the product, but I do have a problem with the name. When I first saw the name “FreshCloz,” I assumed it was pronounced “Fresh Claws” because of the way it is spelled and the fact that they show it being used in a closet. But when I saw the infomercial, I heard them pronouncing FreshCloz as “Fresh Clothes.” I think some marketers need to get a copy of that direct marketing bestseller “Hooked on Phonics.” In English, a “silent e” indicates a long vowel sound. So if you wanted the name of the product to be pronounced “Fresh Clothes,” you should have spelled the name as “FreshCloze”—the name would still have been stupid but at least it would have been phonetically correct!

Check out the commercial for yourself:


  • 5 Responses to “FreshCloz: The Home Dry Cleaning Product with the Stupidly Unphonetic Name”

  • They should include a demo in the infomercial where they ask random people to take a whiff a homeless guy, put his clothes in the FreshCloz, and then have the people smell the difference.

    “FreshCloz is amazing! I can hardly detect the odor of piss and booze at all anymore!”

    Comment by euGene on July 21, 2010 at 9:32 am

  • Good to know I’m not the only one who initially thought the name was pronounced “Fresh Claws”. lol

    Anyhow, I imagine this product is probably like those stupid vacuum seal storage bags you can supposedly store huge comforters in. It will work for about two days and then make your clothes smell like fresh ass or something.

    Comment by Olivia on July 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

  • “Ozonic”??! I never knew it was a word, but now I can’t wait to use it in a sentence! I guess they could use a macron (like in “Drāno”) to form the *slightly* less ambiguous “FreshClōz”.

    The name aside, I fail to see how circulating “ozonic” gas inside a sealed bag is going to freshen up clothing. The unit itself will likely smell of ozone, implying a de-odorizing effect to the user, but it’ll take larger concentrations to fully deodorize clothing. That this can replace dry-cleaning is pretty laughable.

    Comment by Sam on July 22, 2010 at 4:19 pm

  • I’m not a dry cleaning expert, but judging by this ad –
    FreshCloz:Dry Cleaning::Deodorant:Shower


    Comment by Noy2222 on July 24, 2010 at 5:06 am

  • They should have at least put umlatz over the “o” to indicate a long “o” sound.

    Comment by Sarah on August 1, 2010 at 2:32 pm