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Vote for Your Favorite As Seen On TV Product
In the spirit of March Madness, the CNBC Sports Biz blog is running a competition where people get to vote for their favorite “As Seen On TV” products. They are starting out with “brackets” of 64 products in four “regions.” First round voting lasts through this weekend; the final match up takes place January 26.
Some of these matchups are no brainers: Hawaii Chair vs. Perfect Pushup? Please!
Probably the toughest first round match up is the one between the Snuggie vs. the Tiddy Bear: How can anyone choose between these classics?!
Billy Mays fans will be happy to know that he is well represented here with products such as Hercules Hook, Awesome Auger, and Mighty Putty. But you fans of the bearded one will have to decide between two Billy Mays products in some cases. May the wisdom of Solomon be with you.
I was disappointed at some of the infomercial products that were not represented. They have the male enhancement product Enzyte but not ExtenZe. They include Gold Kit but not Cash for Gold! Still, it is a pretty comprehensive list.
Click here to cast your votes! (Make sure to cast votes in all 4 “regions”: Household/Auto; Kitchen/Food; Health/Fitness; Everything Else.)
And then let us know which was your favorite matchup and toughest choice.
Update: Voting for the second round has now started and continues until 9:30 a.m. ET on Wednesday, January 21st.
Frankly, I was stunned that the Perfect Pushup beat the Hawaii Chair by a whopping 81% to 19%! The Perfect Pushup has to be one of the most boring products ever sold on TV. I guess this result came about because the infomercial for the Hawaii Chair has rarely been broadcast whereas the commercial for Perfect Pushup is frequently seen on TV.
I think the toughest matchup in the second round it the one between Snuggie and ShamWow. I also hope that Miss Cleo beats the sleazy Girls Gone Wild videos, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
Update II: Third round voting has started–yes, we’re down to the “Sweet Sixteen.” Voting for this round ends Thursday, Jan 22 at 9:30am ET.
I was disappointed, but not surprised, to see that Oxiclean beat the Flowbee in the last round. I know that Billy Mays has a rabid fan base and that any of the products he endorses will be strong contenders. (There are two Billy Mays products left in this competition: Oxiclean and Mighty Putty.) Still, the Flowbee is one of the all-time great stupid products (even though the infomercial hasn’t aired in more than a decade) and I would have prefered to see it beat some bathroom cleaner.
I think it goes without saying that I am casting my votes for the most absurd products with the most laughable infomercials. But I suspect that some people are actually voting for “best” (meaning most useful) products. Come on people, how dull can you get! Perhaps that’s why Perfect Pushup beat the Hawaii Chair in the first round voting.
In this round, Oxiclean is up against ShamWow, which is the Billy Mays vs. Vince Offer head-to-head matchup many people have been waiting for.
The George Foreman Grill vs. the Ron Popeil Showtime Rotisserie may be the toughest vote for me this time.
Girls Gone Wild faces the Video Professor. Let me remind all you horny dudes that the Video Professor has also put boobies on TV.
Vote wisely my friends.
Update III: Voting for the Elite Eight has begun and continues until Friday at 9:30 am ET.
I hate to be negative but when the classic Life Alert commercial (“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”) gets beaten by the Bowflex—a product that is boring-as-hell and sold on an infomercial that is boring-as-hell—then it is clear that a lot of really boring people are voting in this competition.
Also, all the Billy Mays products have been defeated, which surprises me considering what a rabid fan base the man has.
Update IV: Voting for the Final Four had begun and continues until Monday at 9:30am ET.
This round gives us the choice between ShamWow vs Girls Gone Wild and the George Foreman Grill vs Bowflex.
I hope that ShamWow wipes the floor with Girls Gone Wild. Even Vince Offer’s Underground Comedy Movie was less sleazy that those Girls Gone Wild videos. But there are a lot of horny guys out there who are too cheap to pay for real porn and appreciate getting it free on those Girls Gone Wild infomercials. Vince has his work cut out for him here.
I also hope that George Foreman knocks out the Bowflex. How could such an incredibly dull product/infomercial as the Bowflex make it past the first round?
Update V: The championship pits Vince Offer’s ShamWow against the George Foreman Grill. Cast your vote now. Polls close Tuesday at 9:30am ET.
Update VI: ShamWow Wins! Vince had a come-from-behind win, beating the George Foreman Grill 55-45.
Comments
27 Responses to “Vote for Your Favorite As Seen On TV Product”
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Comment by Pip on January 18, 2009 at 3:41 pm
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These informercial reviews are great. I never knew about Hawaii chair but man….. now I want one.
But I’m surprised you haven’t talked about the fine Amish craftsmanship of the “heat surge”. Or the doe-eyed owners of the Obama “victory plate”.
Comment by Josh Einstein on January 18, 2009 at 11:50 pm
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All Obama scammers are having a field day/week/month. I went to Burns & Noble yesterday at the Groves (LA), and there are about 7 million books on Obama. (Ok, I am exaggerating the number, but they have full desks and tables solely dedicated to Obama books, diaries, books on Michelle Obama and all.)
Right now, Buy.com is selling that great Obama plate for $9.99 and free shipping, while the TV infomercial guy wants to sell it for $19.99 +S&H.
Comment by Znkp on January 19, 2009 at 1:18 pm
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I voted. Most of the items I voted for are winning at the moment (I won’t name the few that I voted for and are losing, to maintain the “suspense”).
Comment by Znkp on January 19, 2009 at 11:09 pm
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Spoiler Alert (about the voting): It is apparent that almost everything in the 1st row is winning. It is because people, who do not know about the items, simply voted for the first one in each time.
Comment by Znkp on January 19, 2009 at 11:16 pm
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correction: … in case case.
Comment by Znkp on January 19, 2009 at 11:17 pm
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BREAKING NEWS:
Tonight on the television machine (Monday 1/19/09), Vince from ShamWow got namechecked on both The Tonight Show (by guest Jimmy Fallon) and on Late Night With Conan O’Brien (by Conan). Vince has clearly entered the zeitgeist. Something he could never have hoped to achieve with “The Underground Comedy Movie.” How long before his first chat show guest spot?
Comment by Scott Mercer on January 20, 2009 at 1:49 am
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Here is ShamWow by Jimmy Kimmel:
http://abc.go.com/video/index?playlistId=20819&clipId=163887
Comment by Znkp on January 20, 2009 at 11:56 am
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Mr. Lucas, have you seen this recent entry about the Shamwow guy:
http://skepchick.org/blog/?p=5490
I think this is a story you could talk about on your blog. If true, it certainly puts the infomercials and Vince himself in a new light.Comment by Francois Tremblay on January 20, 2009 at 1:33 pm
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SuperSammy: WOW! One more Sammy!!
Comment by Znkp on January 20, 2009 at 4:32 pm
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SuperSammy = ShamWow? What a let down!
Comment by Znkp on January 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm
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Many typos today. Sorry for it. It is SuperShammy.
Comment by Znkp on January 20, 2009 at 4:41 pm
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Why am I being forced to choose between two equally magnificent products, such as Snuggie and ShamWow? Will someone please shoot me and free me from this agony? (I will pay for the bullets).
Comment by Znkp on January 21, 2009 at 2:37 am
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Looks like even Darren Rovell, the guy running this voting game, is shell-shocked.
“Believe it or not, we have an Elite Eight without a single Billy Mays-endorsed product. It almost feels like we’ve lost our Duke. But that’s why you play the game.” This spake Zarathustra
Source: http://www.cnbc.com/id/28790884/
Comment by Znkp on January 22, 2009 at 8:40 pm
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While choosing between Snuggie and ShamWow, I had opted for Snugglie because, however absurd the pitch may be, ShamWow still has some “real” use while, to use Snuggie, one must be almost like Florentino Ariza from the “one hundred years of solitude”, a man with infinite illusion.
Sadly, Snuggie lost!
Comment by Znkp on January 22, 2009 at 8:43 pm
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Oops, Love in the time of cholera. Sorry!
Comment by Znkp on January 22, 2009 at 8:44 pm
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On Why I Will Vote For ShamWOW: A Critique of Pure Reason
Simply because:
As a man of principle, I am against spending money on smut (including Girls Gone Wild videos), and as a conspiracy theorist, I guess this is all the dirty work of the Ole’ Big Brother. Hence, to stick it to the man, I support illegal downloading of porn.Vince ShamWOW, on the other hand, appears on TV for free, and keeps me company in my lonely nights (which are, to be frank, all my nights).
I wish it was a 30-minute infomercial, though.Comment by Znkp on January 23, 2009 at 1:38 pm
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Based on 4248 votes (including mine), the tally is as follows:
ShamWow: 55%
Girls Gone Wild: 45%ShamWow, Stick it to the man (or the mans or the womans, or whatevers).
Comment by Znkp on January 23, 2009 at 1:41 pm
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ShamWow is losing. Help…..!!!!
Comment by Znkp on January 26, 2009 at 1:21 pm
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FYI, there is a new product out there called “Guys Gone Wild”.
No offense to you guys, but no girl wants to see some drunk, horny frat boys show off their weiners. It’s still entertaining that this exists though!
Comment by #1InfomercialFan on January 26, 2009 at 2:09 pm
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ShamWow is winning!!! (Out of 8593 votes, ShamWow has got 55%)
Comment by Znkp on January 27, 2009 at 2:44 pm
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If you want to congratulate ShamWow or Vince, here is their contact email address:
The website is:
https://www.shamwow.com/ver4/index.aspI already mailed this Ronny guy.
ShamWow!
Comment by Znkp on January 27, 2009 at 7:08 pm
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To me, Darell Roven (the guy at CNBC conducing this poll) is a poet, writing prose. Some of my favorite lines:
“We wish we could profile the ShamWow! more, but it already ranks as one of the most mysterious “As Seen On TV” products of all-time.
To start, initial commercials at least said it holds 20 times its weight in liquid. But the Web site now says it holds 12 times its weight in liquid.”
“We didn’t receive an answer to our interview requests through the contact e-mail on the ShamWow! Web site and we couldn’t find a general number, other than the ordering number, for the company.
So yes, it’s tough to give an award without having someone to accept it.”
“For our part, we think Vince Offer — also now star of the Slap Chop (owned by ShamWow Inc. as well) — is taking over as the next Billy Mays. He has some incredible lines (“The Germans always make good stuff”) and is very effective in his two-minute pitch.”
Source: http://www.cnbc.com/id/28873174
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Footnote: I don’t know why, but after writing this I feel as if I am Al Bundy, my biggest hero, probably because Al Bundy called the guy, who acted as Psycho Dad, a poet.Comment by Znkp on January 27, 2009 at 7:21 pm
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Though ShamWow/Vince never replied to my congratulatory mail, I am glad to report that their site mentions the fact that ShamWow was rated (the dubious) No.1 infomercial of all time by CNBC.
Here is the link:
https://shamwow.com/ver8/index.aspAnd don’t forget: There is an optional $10 cash back bonus.
Comment by znkp on February 4, 2009 at 6:22 pm
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Thank God, finally Vince agreed to an interview with Darren Rovell of CNBC. Here is the link to that much-awaited interview:
http://www.cnbc.com/id/28880253
Now I say: ShahWow!
Comment by znkp on February 4, 2009 at 6:25 pm
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For those of you always wondering about Vince Offer’s acting and lyrical capabilities, but never getting a first-hand experience, here is a glimpse:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2oVWSfZ9Bk
Personally, I loved the song, but then I like most things offensive or disgusting, including Dual Action Cleanse infomercial.
VinceWow!
Comment by znkp on February 9, 2009 at 2:31 pm
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Vince vs. Billy Mays
Comment by Znkp on February 19, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Ever subscribe to a blog only to have them reward you less than 24 hours later with a link to Epic Awesomeness?!?!? I have and it is all your fault!
Thank you!