O-O-O-Obama: From Coins to Chia Heads, Barack Becomes the Hottest Infomercial Product

As you know, on January 20, 2009 an unprecedented event occurred in American history: For the first time, America inaugurated a half-white stoner from Hawaii to be President of the United States.

The world of TV infomercials has not been unaffected by this monumental change. During the campaign, Obama appeared on a widely televised infomercial asking citizens for their votes. Now Obama has gone from being the star of an infomercial to being the product on infomercials; he’s gone from being Vince Offer to being a ShamWow.

The most frequently broadcast of these infomercials selling Barack Obama’s image is the one from US Coin Network hosted by talk show host Montel Williams. They sell a set of four real coins from the US Mint (a dollar, half-dollar, and two quarters) with Obama’s picture grafted on them:

(By the way, if you go to the Montel Williams website, you’ll see that he’s trying to make himself into the Mike Levey of the Obama era; he endorses two cooking gadgets, a pain reliever, and that Snuggie-in-disguise the Toasty Wrap.)

But those aren’t the only Barack Obama coins being sold on TV. The Franklin Mint sells a “Color Enhanced” Kennedy Half-Dollar with Obama’s image. And the National Collector’s Mint sells a Lincoln-Obama coin which is legal tender in Liberia! There is also a President Barack Obama Inaugural Dollar being promoted by the New England Mint in this commercial with a really obnoxious announcer who sounds like he probably voted for Chuck Baldwin:

Of course coins aren’t the only Obama tchotchkes being promoted. This strange video sells an Obama watch and features a couple of guys who look like they’re in desperate need of a government bailout:

The strangest Obama product may be the “Chia Obama” being sold by the makers of Chia Pet. Finally you can grow green curly plants on top of the head of our 44th president. I don’t know if they’re going to make a TV commercial for this thing but it would be great if they started it out with “O-O-O-Obama.” There are actually two types of Chia Obama heads. “Happy Obama:”

And “Determined Obama:”

I guess they had to create the Determined Chia Obama because some people thought the Happy Chia Obama wasn’t dignified enough.

Considering that President Obama has very short hair, growing out the Chia Obama actually makes the head look less like him—though perhaps the Chia afro makes the head look more like the Barry Obama of the Seventies. You can always pretend he wrote in his high school yearbook, “Thanks Chia Gang for all the good times.”