Magic Thimble: Crazy Infomercial Gives Us a Lollipop Robot, a Vibrator, and a Rubber Finger Tip

The Magic Thimble is a pretty dull product, a rubber finger tip that helps you turn pages more easily. Yet this unremarkable product ended up with one of the craziest infomercials ever:

Oh where to start…

The pitchman here is a gentleman who goes by the handle “EL” and he is accompanied by his sidekick “i-Lolly-P”—who just happens to be a robot with lollipops stuck inside its head. The robot i-Lolly-P never says nor does anything during the commercial other than stand next to EL. If you can figure out what a lollipop-filled robot has to do with a rubber finger tip, then you are a wiser person than I.

“The Magic Thimble is great for children with special needs. Any supermom can use them,” Susan from Alamo, Texas assures us. It is not clear, however, why mentally handicapped people would have any more trouble turning pages than anyone else. It is also not clear why the mentally handicapped child in the commercial needs to have his face blurred—unless it is to hide the fact that the actor is neither retarded nor a child. [Note: Since this blog post was written, an updated version of the Magic Thimble commercial left out the scene with the “special needs” child.]

Do kids have such trouble turning pages that an entire class needs to be outfitted with Magic Thimbles? Or is that just a special class that practices synchronized page turning?

If you are reading your books on top of the kitchen sink, then turning pages is the least of your problems.

Yes, they actually advocate using the Magic Thimble to “just pour a thimble-ful of spirits”—a pressing need long in search of solution.

The free bonus item offered (which is a “Sellers loss, Buyers GAIN™”) is a finger massager…also known as a vibrator…usually used as a sex aid. This bonus doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the main product other than both items are placed on the tip of the finger. Or maybe because Magic Thimble looks like a French tickler they thought they might as well offer a real sex aid as the bonus. Or maybe the vibrator is i-Lolly-P’s cousin.

Just in case you are wondering if this entire video isn’t just some attempt at absurdist humor, you can actually purchase the Magic Thimble at www.GetMagicThimble.com

EL concludes the Magic Thimble infomercial by busting a rhyme: “Whether you’re a geek, read freak, or spill juice when you eat, you need this in your life.” Although I know I won’t get my wish, I sincerely hope that EL and i-Lolly-P become the next Billy Mays.