Grab-A-Bite and Dog Dicer Rescue Us from the Horror of Using a Fork and Knife

For centuries people living in what is commonly referred to as “Western civilization” have gone through quiet moments of desperation multiple times each day. The cause of this torment is always the same: no, it is not getting shampoo in their eyes; it is having to eat food with a fork and knife.

At last someone has not only addressed this misery but has done something about it with the Grab-A-Bite (aka “The Neat Way to Eat”):

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The above video is an excellent illustration of the phrase, “re-inventing the wheel.”

But the folks behind Grab-A-Bite aren’t the only ones who think people are eager to be liberated from common kitchen utensils. The Dog Dicer infomercial wants us to believe that there is an epidemic of kids choking to death on hot dogs (!) but for some reason parents can’t simply use a knife to cut up a wiener into smaller slices:

The official websites of these products boldly proclaim that “The Dog Dicer™ is Patent protected” and the Grab-A-Bite has a “Full Utility Patent Granted”—so don’t you dare think of trying to knock off these brilliant innovations and selling them as your own!

A bite-sized thank you to reader Tim for letting us know about the Dog Dicer infomercial.


  • 6 Responses to “Grab-A-Bite and Dog Dicer Rescue Us from the Horror of Using a Fork and Knife”

  • Just wanted to say I’m a big fan of your blog, never thought I would be watching infomercials for fun!

    Comment by René on June 4, 2012 at 10:38 pm

  • Glad you enjoy the blog, René!

    95% of infomercials are pretty dull, but we try our hardest to find the most outrageous ones.

    Comment by Paul Lucas on June 4, 2012 at 11:49 pm

  • Love both. Reinventing the wheel understates it!

    And this blog always has insane, but hilarious material, René. 🙂

    I wonder if people using the G-a-B would actually notice that they are really using an expensive pair of chopsticks.

    Comment by Jeff on June 5, 2012 at 10:21 am

  • @Jeff I agree about the chopsticks.

    The Dog Dicer looks like an egg slicer for hotdogs. I wonder if The Dog Dicer people should team up with the Happy Hot Dog man people?

    Comment by pikapal on June 7, 2012 at 9:52 pm

  • The look of concern on the mom’s face when her kid was choking was priceless. It look like false concern mixed with “how dare you on your weenie!”

    Comment by Leina on June 12, 2012 at 1:41 am

  • I come up with stupid product ideas all the time. I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be so hasty in dismissing them. If people will buy the Dog Dicer, they’ll buy anything.

    Comment by Julie on June 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm