Grab-A-Bite and Dog Dicer Rescue Us from the Horror of Using a Fork and Knife

For centuries people living in what is commonly referred to as “Western civilization” have gone through quiet moments of desperation multiple times each day. The cause of this torment is always the same: no, it is not getting shampoo in their eyes; it is having to eat food with a fork and knife.

At last someone has not only addressed this misery but has done something about it with the Grab-A-Bite (aka “The Neat Way to Eat”):

The above video is an excellent illustration of the phrase, “re-inventing the wheel.”

But the folks behind Grab-A-Bite aren’t the only ones who think people are eager to be liberated from common kitchen utensils. The Dog Dicer infomercial wants us to believe that there is an epidemic of kids choking to death on hot dogs (!) but for some reason parents can’t simply use a knife to cut up a wiener into smaller slices:

The official websites of these products boldly proclaim that “The Dog Dicer™ is Patent protected” and the Grab-A-Bite has a “Full Utility Patent Granted”—so don’t you dare think of trying to knock off these brilliant innovations and selling them as your own!

—
A bite-sized thank you to reader Tim for letting us know about the Dog Dicer infomercial.