Kickin’ Ink: Why Pay for Tattoos When You Can Just Put Pantyhose On Your Arms

Whether at the hottest nightclubs or the local meth labs, tattoos are all the rage these days. And a simple heart on the shoulder or flower on the ankle just isn’t going to cut it anymore either. To show the world that you are cutting edge, you need an arm full of multicolored tattoos woven in an intricate pattern.

But what about all those people who long desperately to be cool and hip, but are afraid of needles? The Kickin’ Ink “tattoo sleeve” infomercial is here to help:

The Kickin’ Ink infomercial might have been somewhat more effective if the two guys at the beginning didn’t have the dorkiest reactions ever to being complemented on their “tattoos.”

This commercial shows people making great impressions at various venues, yet they do not include a scene where a hot lady goes to feel some stud’s killer tats…and ends up with a fistful of patterned pantyhose!

The pitch “Kickin’ Ink lets you transform your image, so you can party at night and still keep your important day job” is almost identical to the one made by the Cami Secret about covering cleavage at the office and letting it all hang out after dark.

On the other hand, Kickin’ Ink must be the first commercial to tout “Freak out mom returning home from college” as a product benefit. (The ExtenZe infomercial was going to say the same thing but cut it out at the last minute.)

So that the Shoedini and Listen Up crowd doesn’t feel left out, this infomercial features a senior citizen using Kickin’ Ink at 1:40. (That actress hopes her appearance will lead to lots of work from GILF websites.)

However, this commercial fails to make the most important sales pitch of all: Kickin’ Ink is a guaranteed way for any masochist to get himself beat up in a biker bar.


  • 6 Responses to “Kickin’ Ink: Why Pay for Tattoos When You Can Just Put Pantyhose On Your Arms”

  • Now every time I come across someone with an arm covered in tatoos I’ll spend a lot of time staring to figure out if the tattoos are real or just a colored pantyhose.

    Comment by euGene on October 25, 2010 at 5:05 pm

  • Okay, this is the single worst infomercial product I’ve ever seen. Worse than the Awethumb, worse than Toastabags, worse than the Subtle Butt. Kickin’ Ink is something you would buy for 99 cents as a gag gift, not something on which you would spend $14.95 plus shipping & handling. At least it’s also coupled with some of the worst acting ever in the history of direct marketing.

    Comment by Thomas on October 26, 2010 at 11:32 am

  • I put this in the same instant-gratification territory as “Wiggers”.

    Comment by Al Frank on October 26, 2010 at 2:27 pm

  • I think that people who wear these sorts of things OUGHT to get beat up. Good lord.

    Comment by Canaduck on November 2, 2010 at 5:01 pm

  • OK, so you wore this thing and someone saw it. Then next time, they see you again and you are NOT wearing it? How to explain? Oh the embarrasment.

    I pity the fool who buys this… oh wait that’s another infomercial.

    Comment by Mark on January 2, 2011 at 3:30 pm

  • “Can you tell which tattooed arm is real and which is kickin’ ink?” Uh, yeah, the one with the wrist bracelet is the faker.

    And to “euGene”, all you have to do is look for a bracelet on their wrists. Unless they’ve got their hands in their pockets.

    Also, is it just me or did NONE of the people wearing the fake tattoos have any arm hair?

    Comment by Daniel B. on August 27, 2012 at 6:51 am