Ridiculous Infomercial Review Blog

If you’ve ever wondered what ends up on the cutting room floor after an infomercial has been edited here’s your chance to see it for yourself. The following video features several bloopers and outtakes from TV infomercials. Heavily featured are veteran infomercial hosts Anthony Sullivan (best known for the Swivel Sweeper infomercial) and bearded, obnoxious Billy Mays (of the OxiClean and Orange Glo infomercials featured in this video, as well as Samurai Shark, Hercules Hook, Awesome Auger and countless others).

Every time I watch a Billy Mays infomercial I always expect him to angrily shout out some kind of curse. I guess this is where some of that swearing ended up.

There is a brand new infomercial for the Almighty Cleanse infomercial being broadcast. “Health evangelist” Danny Vierra is back to gross you out with talk of the massive quantities of poop and parasites inhabiting the dark recesses of your colon. This is another program from ITV and Donald Barrett is again the host, but this time he is joined by co-host Chloe Marshall, the ditzy blonde who appeared on one of the Kevin Trudeau infomercials.

I’ll write a more comprehensive description of this new Almighty Cleanse infomercial in the future and try to include video highlights. The first half of this infomercial has lots of classic lines from Danny Vierra, including:

“I believe we’re a nation of constipation.”

“52% of Americans grunt and strain when passing their feces. That shouldn’t be.”

The second half of the infomercial is notable for the hammy, disgusted overreaction of hosts Donald Barrett and Chloe Marshall to Vierra’s description of the nasty vermin inside your intestinal tract:

Keep and eye out for it.

Jeanne Bice is a rotund lady who sells an appalling line of clothing called the “Quacker Factory” on QVC. Recently the TV program The Soup held their awards for 2007, and Jeanne Bice received the prize for “Creepiest Old Person Moment of the Year: Female”—beating out such luminaries as Barbara Walters (nominated twice) and Tova Borgnine.

Ms. Bice won the award for the following moment on QVC while she was promoting her Christmas line of Quacker Factory clothing:

Most people seem to be focusing on her religious Christmas/Hanukkah comments. But since I had been concerned that the Quacker Factory styles might be getting toned down, I am just glad to see that when Jeanne Bice really puts her mind to it she can still come up with the kind of hideous Quacker Factory monstrosities we have all come to know and hate.

The AeroGarden sells itself as a great way for people to have fresh herbs and lettuce always available in their kitchens. The infomercial for the AeroGarden takes place in a clean suburban-looking kitchen and features testimonials from lots of middle-aged soccer moms.

But the first time I saw the AeroGrow infomercial I thought, “Isn’t that a device for growing marijuana?” The only association I have with hydroponics and fluorescent “grow lights” being used to grow plants inside a private residence is that of some weed-head trying to cultivate some really killer bud.

Many people have watched infomercials while stoned, but this may be the only infomercial that can actually help people get stoned!

I wondered if anyone else had a similar thought on seeing the AeroGarden on TV.

The topic of using the AeroGarden to grow weed is indeed a subject of some discussion on marijuana websites. The opinions are sharply divided between those who say they actually use the AeroGarden to grow marijuana and those who insist the product is worthless for that purpose.

Checkout the discussions on Cannibis.com, RollItUp.org, and GreenPassion.org

Forget Cathy Mitchell and Erica Shaffer. If the AeroGarden makes a new infomercial they should sign up Woody Harrelson and Snoop Dogg as celebrity endorsements!

We know that many people watch Cathy Mitchell infomercials for the emotional comfort. Now it seems that Cathy Mitchell and her GT Xpress 101 have inspired an entire blog.

It’s called the Semicircular Vegan, and blog author Paula explains:

I guess I’ll start by admitting that I <3 infomercials...But my all-time favorite, and obsession for the last few years, is the GT Xpress 101, endorsed by Cathy Mitchell: TV Personality and Food Expert...Basically, it’s like any other sort of Foreman Grill type food cooker. It heats on the top and the bottom, but the catch is, ALL YOUR FOOD COMES OUT IN A SEMICIRCLE!...This blog will be dedicated to my adventures making vegan, semicircular food in this device. I will try and replicate some of the recipes that came in the handy cookbook and also create my own semicircular dishes.

An entire blog dedicated to making vegan recipes in the GT Xpress 101? Talk about your narrow niches!

Maybe someone will start a blog about all the mixed drinks they make with their Magic Bullet…if they get out of their stupor long enough to get to a keyboard.