Passion’s Fire: Lost Infomercial Classic

Infomercials for sex products are always good for a laugh. And I’ve certainly reviewed my share (Poder Sexual, ExtenZe, Alzare). But the most hilarious infomercial I’ve ever seen for a sexual health product was something called “Passion’s Fire.”

Passion’s Fire probably aired around 1995 or 96 and it advertised aphrodisiac pills (this was before Viagra). The thing that made Passion’s Fire so funny was the genuine strangeness of the testimonials.

At one point the host read letters they had received from satisfied Passion’s Fire users. One 80-year-old woman wrote that the product had helped her and added, “Now if I could only find a partner we will make beautiful music together.” It is not entirely clear why an 80-year-old woman without any partner needs to take pills to make her perpetually horny or how this makes an improvement in her life.

Another woman wrote that she works as a clerk at a supermarket and “Now I think about sex all day long,” which I’m sure made for some very happy bag boys.

And the videotaped testimonials were just a good. One middle-aged man took a swing with his golf club and claimed that the aphrodisiac pills helped his golf game by giving him more energy.

Then there was an elderly lady who said something along the lines of “I have found the side effects of this product to be very beneficial. It has strengthened the muscles in my legs. And it has helped me with my incontinence.” So she used to wet her pants but now she is doing the horizontal mambo on a regular basis. Get that nightmarish image stuck in your head and you’ll be the one in need of Passion’s Fire.

Passion’s Fire didn’t air for very long and I never got it on tape. Yet another “one that got away.”