Plate Talk Displays Your Useless Blabber on Your License Plate Frame

Sometimes you’ll hear about a product you never thought you needed, but once you see how clever and useful it is you just can’t wait to get one for yourself. Other times you hear about a product you never thought you needed…and really can’t figure why any human being would ever need or want such a thing. In the latter category is Plate Talk:

The opening words are interesting: “You post, you text, you tweet, but why do you advertise for some car dealer every day on the street?” Apparently, Plate Talk hopes to appeal to those people who constantly bug their friends by text message, bore their family on Facebook, and tweet into cyberspace..but are still so starved for another outlet for their worthless “self-expression” that they will eagerly put rolling whiteboards on the back of their cars.

Notice how many of the examples of Plate Talk messages they show are absolutely hackneyed:

“Smile Have a Nice Day!”

“USA Salute Our Troops!!!”

“Go Wildcats”

“Kiss Me I’m Irish”

“I’d Rather Be Boating!!!”

“Smile God Loves You!”

“Mom and Baby On Board”

These trite pieces of bumper sticker boilerplate are hardly any less mind-numbing than the car dealer advertisements this infomercial excoriates as the bane of the motorways.

The most notable thing written on a Plate Talk in this infomercial is the message, “I’m Single…And Looking.” Frankly, you might as well scrawl, “I’m Single…Please Stalk Me!” on the back of your car. Instead host Tim Goewey implores us with the rhyming couplet, “So if you’re single and looking for a date, put it on your plate.” Then to “prove” this works, a woman pulls up beside his car and starts flirting.

In light of what has happened to Russ Dalbey, the Plate Talk commercial really should carry the disclaimer, “Results May Vary.”