Kickin’ Ink: Why Pay for Tattoos When You Can Just Put Pantyhose On Your Arms

Whether at the hottest nightclubs or the local meth labs, tattoos are all the rage these days. And a simple heart on the shoulder or flower on the ankle just isn’t going to cut it anymore either. To show the world that you are cutting edge, you need an arm full of multicolored tattoos woven in an intricate pattern.

But what about all those people who long desperately to be cool and hip, but are afraid of needles? The Kickin’ Ink “tattoo sleeve” infomercial is here to help:

The Kickin’ Ink infomercial might have been somewhat more effective if the two guys at the beginning didn’t have the dorkiest reactions ever to being complemented on their “tattoos.”

This commercial shows people making great impressions at various venues, yet they do not include a scene where a hot lady goes to feel some stud’s killer tats…and ends up with a fistful of patterned pantyhose!

The pitch “Kickin’ Ink lets you transform your image, so you can party at night and still keep your important day job” is almost identical to the one made by the Cami Secret about covering cleavage at the office and letting it all hang out after dark.

On the other hand, Kickin’ Ink must be the first commercial to tout “Freak out mom returning home from college” as a product benefit. (The ExtenZe infomercial was going to say the same thing but cut it out at the last minute.)

So that the Shoedini and Listen Up crowd doesn’t feel left out, this infomercial features a senior citizen using Kickin’ Ink at 1:40. (That actress hopes her appearance will lead to lots of work from GILF websites.)

However, this commercial fails to make the most important sales pitch of all: Kickin’ Ink is a guaranteed way for any masochist to get himself beat up in a biker bar.