Ridiculous Infomercial Review Blog

Maybe I just have a dirty mind.

The sexual content of some infomercials is quite obvious, such as ExtenZe, Tom Vu, and the Jeff Paul infomercial (which practically shoves four breasts in your face). I have, however, detected a sexual subtext in infomercials, such as the Tony Little Gazelle and the Magic Bullet, which have no obvious sexual content. The latest infomercial to fall in this category is the Pressa Bella steam iron hosted by Forbes Riley and Beau Rials (not to be confused with Forbes Rials and Beau Riley).

Forbes Riley is among the most prolific infomercials hosts of all time (her work in AromaTrim is still my favorite) and Beau Rials is himself a veteran infomercial host (H2O Mop, H2O Vac).

In this infomercial, Forbes Riley squeals in orgasmic glee every time Beau shoots a massive stream of hot, white, wet steam from the Pressa Bella. And there’s a lot more here that should make the Pressa Bella infomercial a Freudian’s delight:

There are many scenes with sexual implications in the Pressa Bella infomercial.

Beau and Forbes “cross their streams” so that the steam from each of their irons intersects and becomes one. (0:34)

There are allusions to gender-bending when Forbes asks Beau if the dress is something he looks good in. (1:10)

There is on-screen text that says “No More Dripping.” (1:31)

One woman irons sexy lingerie for her anniversary. It is hard to tell but the tear caused by the previous iron just might have made that lingerie crotchless. (1:48)

Forbes touts the romantic benefits of the iron with the phrase, “With Pressa Bella, you can keep your fella.” (2:11)

Orgasmic ecstasy erupts over the face of one woman (who looks like Kristin Davis from Sex and the City) forcing her to declare, “Oh my God, I love it!” If you didn’t know better you would assume that close up came straight out of some Vivid Video flick. (2:19)

Beau and multiple ladies (or “Forbettes” as he calls them) simultaneously emit steam as a group. (2:22)

Beau Rials and a man named Dave do a side-by-side comparison of the length of their streams—forcing the lesser man to dejectedly concede, “I got nothing.” (2:40)

I guess size really does matter after all!

Have you seen the TV show Fashion House? It’s that godawful nighttime soap opera starring Bo Derek. Fashion House, along with Desire, constitutes the programming for the recently launched MyNetworkTV. Apparently, the geniuses at MyNetworkTV (which is owned by Fox) thought that the American public was just dying to have English-language versions of the Spanish telenovellas—I know I’ve been holding my breath for years!

The pilot for Fashion House had infomercial hosting goddess Forbes Riley in the role currently played by Bo Derek (Maria Gianni). Riley has hosted countless infomercials including Jack LaLanne Power Juicer, Abs of Steel, Wagner’s Paint Mate, Aerobed, Covert Bailey, Abtronic Wonder Massage, Orbitrek, Exerflex, Pro-Strong Nail Strengthener, and her masterpiece, Aromatrim.

Here is a clip of Forbes Riley in the Fashion House pilot:

Her best performance since feeding a spoonful of mustard to a blindfolded man!

Actually, I think Forbes gives the role the kind of unsubtle, over-the-top, campy quality that you find on the real Spanish telenovellas, unlike most of the performances on Fashion House, which are just plain dull.