counter

Beamz by Flo: An Expensive Way to Play Air Guitar

Sunshine state rapper Flo Rida (not to be confused with Canadian rapper Sass Catch’a Juan) presents Beamz by Flo, an innovative cross between playing air guitar and pressing the “Demo” button on a Casio keyboard.

>

Mr. Rida doesn’t promote this product as a mere novelty. He promises Beamz will make you a “star”—not to mention instantly transform you from a 1980s nerd in to a 1990s hip hop DJ:

What Auto-Tuning did for Rebecca Black, Beamz by Flo will do for your musicianship. And while you’re looking cool in front of a crowd you can think contemptuously of all the dumb suckers who actually spent time learning and practicing a real musical instrument. Use Beamz with Kickin’ Ink tattoo sleeves for maximum effect.

Flo Rida is not the first musician to sell an electronic music gadget on a TV infomercial. Thirty years ago there was this:

How disconcerting to see the same hands that have danced across Grand Pianos so many times, reduced to a single index finger hunting and pecking on a chintzy gizmo.

Even more tragic is that when Liberace’s companion Scott Thorson found a Liberace Learn ‘n Play Keyboard in his Christmas stocking instead of an emerald-studded poodle collar and matching ascot, it kicked off a series of unfortunate events that led to his regrettable palimony suit against the piano virtuoso.

(H/T to The Retroist for the Liberace Learn ‘n Play Keyboard commercial.)

Comments

  • 4 Responses to “Beamz by Flo: An Expensive Way to Play Air Guitar”

  • Play Beamz while wearing the Gojo Hands Free to look like a complete douchebag.

    Comment by bookendz on September 4, 2013 at 12:57 pm

  • I dunno why Flo Rida is considered a rapper. All of his music is pop fluff junk. I’m not saying as a rapper you should make only hardcore gangsta stuff, but at least make something targeted to young teenage girls who love Today’s Top 40 techno pop. And unfortunately, I was born the same day (but not year, thankfully) as him and live in the same state he’s from. Sigh.

    Comment by Jay on September 5, 2013 at 9:14 pm

  • Given the choice, I would be more inclined to buy a product endorsed by a mega talent like Liberace than something endorsed by Flo Rida, a no talent.

    Fischer Price should buy the Beamz product and market it to toddlers as My First Theremin.

    Comment by Deb on September 6, 2013 at 1:40 pm

  • @Deb LOL! At least the Fisher Price version will be cheaper than $124.99.

    Comment by Paul Lucas on September 7, 2013 at 9:37 am

Leave a Reply