Toesys Sneakers: Live Vicariously Through Your Daughter’s Painted Toenails

How pathetic are those parents who try to live vicariously through their children’s accomplishments? Whether it is a dad basking in his son’s exploits with the team or a mom pushing her daughter to be a contestant in beauty pageants, such parents can seem just a step above child abusers.

How much worse if the “accomplishment” a parent has an unquenchable desire to show off isn’t talent on the stage or sports field…but how pretty her daughter’s painted toenails look! For these parents there is Toesys clear sneakers:

Any parent who buys Toesys must expect that the overwhelming beauty of her daughter’s painted toenails will make everyone overlook the pair of absolutely butt-ugly shoes on her feet:

Sandals may be fine to show off toes during the spring and summer, but in fall and winter your ingrate kid will start complaining about how cold her feet are. Now you can shut her up by making her put on a pair of Toesys. A win-win situation!

According to the infomercial, the product “includes a jar of Toesys Clear. It works to prevent fogging, so that the toes are always easy to see.” So you can expect your kid’s toe sweat to eventually cloud up the transparent part of the sneaker. Therefore Toesys is a shoe that requires a regular maintenance schedule. Be sure to apply the Toesys Clear gel every 3 months or 3,000 miles.


  • 3 Responses to “Toesys Sneakers: Live Vicariously Through Your Daughter’s Painted Toenails”

  • Talk about a meeting ground for spores. Just imagine all the foot fungus & rot that’s gonna be on the inside of these. Shoot get the right kind of fungus and you ain’t gotta worry about penicillin. For an added bonus these people ought to give away tetnus shots with each order.

    Comment by Kyle Varnell on June 10, 2013 at 6:39 pm

  • Are those toeless socks trying to cash in on the fad for Hobo Chic?

    Comment by euGene on June 10, 2013 at 6:40 pm

  • omg, these things are like something DIvine’s character would have used in Pink Flamingoes

    Comment by Nick on July 16, 2015 at 2:46 am