GoateeSaver: Look Like a Cyborg When You Shave

I have sported a goatee for many years. Occasionally, my attempts to shave around my facial hair have been less than perfect, but it never inspired me to invent something as awesome as the GoateeSaver:

Who among us isn’t convinced that shaving will be a lot easier when you have to do it while wearing a Darth Vader mask held in your mouth with a horse bridle?

Strapping on a bulky contraption like the Goatee Saver might seem like an awkward way to get a shave, but looking like a cyborg while grooming yourself is a sure way to attract Bumpits-wearing hotties like Heather.

All of us gentlemen who choose to wear to this style of facial hair owe our enduring gratitude to inventor Scott Bonge for sparing us forever from the horror of an uneven goatee…not to mention all the fun we’ll have when we say, “Luke, I am your father!” to our bathroom mirrors.


  • 5 Responses to “GoateeSaver: Look Like a Cyborg When You Shave”

  • I think the mouthpiece is there for the person to bite down on- you know, to help ease the pain when the razor blades start shredding your face like some sort of mechanical cheese grater.

    Comment by Kevin Truefaux on December 18, 2011 at 3:26 pm

  • The commercial is creepy but this ite works. I bought one last year as a test and I love it.

    Comment by Bubba on December 21, 2011 at 4:45 am

  • It looks like something Hannibal Lector might use.

    Comment by Chris Pawelski on December 22, 2011 at 1:43 pm

  • I hate to admit it, but I bought one of these and it really does work. Obviously you look like a jackass while using one, but who really shaves in front of other people?

    Comment by Sam on February 9, 2012 at 3:37 pm

  • LOL looks crazy as hell but seems to get good reviews, might give it a try. Maybe it will help me got hot Jersey shore looking girls like Heather!

    Comment by mike ski on October 14, 2012 at 2:37 pm