Guess What the “Better Marriage Blanket” Does…

No couple thinks about divorce when they gaze lovingly into each others’ eyes and exchange vows. But divorce is exactly what will happen to nearly one million of them each year in the United States alone. Yet no statistics can convey just how wrenching divorces can be: the broken hearts; the time and fortunes spent in the legal system; the innocent children caught in the middle of it all.

Most of the leading causes of divorce are well-known: financial issues, adultery, physical and emotional abuse. Yet there is also a silent but deadly foe of marriage wafting through the land. Fortunately the Better Marriage Blanket solves this most irreconcilable of differences:

Hmmm…I must have missed that scene in Kramer vs. Kramer.

One problem with this infomercial is that it assumes this issue is some sort of tragic accident. In fact, a large percentage of men quite enjoy making a “Dutch oven” and then shoving their wives heads beneath the covers as a hilarious practical joke.

Also interesting is the line, “…on the inside it contains a layer of activated carbon fabric, the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons.” Let us hope those men and women who have learned to weaponize their farts are not recruited into Al Qaeda!