Heidi 4 Paws: A Wholesome Dog Movie That Will Freak Out the Whole Family
February 14th, 2011 by Paul Lucas
Ever seen the movie Heidi? You know, that terrible Shirley Temple movie from the 1930s that was made into an even worse animated movie in the 1980s?
Apparently some human being thought it would be a great idea to remake Heidi by sticking a bunch of dogs in front of a green screen.
If you’ve had the misfortune to see this infomercial for Heidi 4 Paws on TV you are probably still having nightmares about it:
The most freakish thing about this is the way they got these canine mouths to move. As the description on the website puts it these are “fully mouth-articulated dogs”—which sounds like a description you might find on the package of a canine love doll.
The infomercial for this production cites the names of a lot of actors I never heard of in a way that makes me think I should have heard of them. The most famous is probably Angela Lansbury, best known for playing Jessica Fletcher in Murder, She Wrote. Conspicuously absent in the names of celebrities mentioned in the TV commercial is Steve Guttenberg, who is listed on the website as being one of the stars in Heidi 4 Paws.
Now that Steve Guttenberg, star of the Police Academy films, has appeared in a talking dog movie, the cinematic art form has at long last reached it apotheosis.
I like the line of the Los Angeles Times:
“You have to see it to believe it!”
The best thing about that line is that it’s not exactly an endorsement for this movie. but the producers are trying to spin it as one. It’s a bit like saying:
“You have to see Plan 9 from Out Space just to understand how amazingly bad it is!”
They must figure, “Hey, if it gets someone to plunk down money to watch this thing, then it works!”
Comment by Thomas — February 15th, 2011 at 3:05 am
I don’t know what creeps me out more- the low budget talking dog movie or that picture of Steve Guttenberg.
Comment by Kevin Truefaux — February 17th, 2011 at 1:54 am
The LA Times review is funny.
I don’t know how to feel. I see dogs and I’m like “awww cute” and then I see the moving mouths and production value and I’m like “yeesh.”
Maybe I’m jaded and expect more from SFX these days. It sounds like a cute story, but I’m just not sure if kids these days will buy into it and enjoy it.
Comment by Lindsay — February 24th, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Steve Guttenberg’s hairpiece is an As Seen On Tv product.
Comment by Phil McCracken — March 1st, 2011 at 10:39 pm