The Carey Formula, Dittie, and Tampon Bowling

I couldn’t get to sleep Friday night, so I turned on the radio and listened to an infomercial. And, unlike the vast majority of radio infomercials, this one was not for a health product but was advertising a business opportunity. It was something called The Carey Formula, and it is a course by an inventor named Barbara Carey that is supposed to teach you how to make millions of dollars with your own invention business. (You can see a video clip of the TV version of The Carey Formula infomercial at this website.)

In the course of the infomercial, Carey mentions all of the successful inventions that have made her money over the years. These include a hair accessory called Hairagmi and something called Dittie.

Dittie is a line of tampons, and what is supposed to make Dittie so different is the wrappers for the tampons are colorful and contain “a fun, empowering Dittie message.” Wow, I’m sure men will now wish they had menstrual periods just so they could stick something fun and colorful inside themselves every month.

The Dittie website expands upon this “fun” approach to tampons. The site includes an entire “Fun and Games” section. This features a video game called Tampon Bowling, which replaces the ten pins in a bowling alley with ten giant tampons (presumably Dittie brand).

Another section is called Where Have Your Ditties Been? This is a place for women to send in photographs showing the places that their Dittie tampons have been. (Sorry, guys, it’s not what you think.)

Finally, there is Show Us Your Ditties, where “Dittie girls” send in their own clever sayings, similar to those featured on the Dittie tampon wrappers. My favorite one of these: “Tonight’s the night I’m going to paint the town red!”