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Infomercial Hell has fun with some of the most laughable infomercials ever broadcast. This site does not review products and neither endorses nor condemns any of the products sold on the infomercials.

Stats

Product:
Nads

Title:
World Wide Health and Beauty Discoveries

Hosts:
Denise Kruger

Expert:
Sue Ismiel

Price:
$29.95

Quotes

“Great for all parts of the body!”

“It melts with your body heat.”

“No harsh chemicals. No heating.”

“Men love it, too.”

“It's good enough to eat.”

“This product's brought us closer and closer.”

“I come out the the bathroom, 'You have Nads?!'”

“I can got out of the house immediately after using Nads”

“We had a girl night with Nads.”

“I got Nadded!”

Links

  • Buy Nads

    Get great deals on the Nad's hair removal gel.
  • Stomp Toyko

    Stomp Tokyo reviews B-movies—and the Nad's infomercial.
  • So Safe, It's Edible?

    A man named Matt embarked on a bold experiment: To find out if Nad's really is "good enough to eat." Also reviews the instructional video that comes with the product.

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Nads

The war against female body hair gets a new weapon from Australia in Nad’s—a product that “looks like green taffy.”

No Wax! No Ectoplasm!
This infomercial never lets the viewer forget that its gooey hair removal product comes from “Down Under.” Australia gets touted as some sort of exotic locale, “nature’s paradise” “where this amazing climate makes natural and organic living a delight.” A goofy picture of a koala bear and the words “Australian Made” and “From Australia” periodically appear on the screen. Yet we are never told why coming from Australia makes Nad’s any better.
They miss a great opportunity to point out that Australian women desperately need good hair removal because of their great fondness for going to the beach nude.

Most of this infomercial, however, centers around “a heart-warming story of
a mother’s love for her daughter.” Sue Ismiel created the product after her
5-year-old daughter attended her brother’s wedding and would have looked
perfect—if not for those hairy gorilla arms! Sue, we are told, is a “former medical professional”—about as vague a description as possible—and she started concocting potions from stuff in her kitchen cupboard and testing them all over the body of her hirsute guinea pig of a husband until she hit upon an “all natural” mixture that worked. Now Nad’s has become “the fastest moving personal care product in Australia.”

Sue(left) named Nad's after her daugher, 
not her husband's body part. Sue incessantly mentions that she named the product “Nad’s” after her daughter Nadine: “I’m proud of my product. That’s why I put my daughter’s name on it.” This, supposedly, builds up the hair remover’s credibility. (Of course, products named after their maker’s children don’t have a great pedigree: Ford’s lemon The Edsel was named after Henry Ford II’s son and Apple Computers’ biggest flop, The Lisa, was named after Steve Jobs’ daughter.) There is, however, a more compelling reason for Sue’s repeated mentions: “nads” is a slang term for testicles, at least in the U.S. The combination of the word “nads” with a hair removal product brings to mind a very squeamish image. Frequent reminders that Nad’s was named for Nadine serve to undermine the word’s anatomical connotations.

It's Ouchless! Although designed for women, this infomercial often demonstrates Nad’s effectiveness by applying it onto hairy-legged men. And they do make a small attempt to pitch Nad’s as a product men can use: it’s said to be great for “swimmers” and “cyclists,” and one of Sue’s daughters claims the “whole football team” used Nad’s—which will no doubt dispel the American assumption that Australian rules football is a game for the macho. However, with the exception of one brief shot, the infomercial fails to make the most effective appeal to men: Nad’s can vanquish the tragedy of back hair, a male trait ladies find so unattractive.

A promising career in the circus ruined by Nad's. Nad’s features one of the greatest testimonials in infomercial history, that of Mary Ann Roth, lady with a beard. Mary Ann recounts the horror of living life with a beard and mustache: apparently, in Australia marauding gangs of boys gather to hurl taunts at the homes of women with conspicuous body hair. But salvation arrived in a jar of Nad’s. There’s something bizarre about the way the events are presented: Mary Ann received a jar of Nad’s from her mother and then faxed Sue, who said she’d come to apply Nad’s personally; we then see Sue slathering Nad’s onto a fully-bearded Mary Ann Roth. Did Sue let Mary Ann suffer with a beard until she could arrive with a camera crew? Or did Mary Ann regrow her beard especially for the infomercial?…Beardless, Mary Ann claims, “My friends say, ‘Ah, you know you’ll be a movie star now.'” Oh, that dry Australian wit! (Or is that morbid Australian wit?)

This infomercial attempts in a lame, half-hearted way to disguise itself as some sort of a travel show. At the end the host signs off by saying, “See you next time from another fascinating location.” “Next time”? This is an infomercial! The only next time will be when this same infomercial is aired yet again from the “fascinating location” of some lousy cable channel or crappy UHF station.

Videos

  • Farewell to the Bearded Lady

    Mary Ann Roth gets her beard and mustache torn off by Sue Ismiel and Nad's. Although if a recruiter from a traveling circus comes around she can always grow it back.

  • Men Love Nad's!

    The second version of the infomercial really made a push to show that men can use Nad's too. Watch some guy get the fur-lining stipped off his back.

  • Nad's Wins!

    Watch a bunch of women on a beach in Sydney try various methods to remove leg hair as part of "The Great International Hair Removal Competition." (No doubt a hallowed and venerable contest of long standing.) Then see some disoriented beach-goer feel up a woman's legs.

  • "I Got Nadded!"

    Two excitable fans of Nad's hair remover use the word "Nads" in some interesting ways. This is followed by Sue Ismiel's daughter proudly declaring, "I got Nadded!"