Juiceman Email

From: R— C—
Date: Tuesday, April 1, 2003
Subject: It's as simple as that

Dear Paul Lucas,

or whatever other idiot who wrote the article on Jay "The Juiceman" Kordich

at this address: http://infomercial.tvheaven.com/juiceman.htm

Here's a picture of Jay,

just in case you don't remember what he looks like, and why would you, you never met Jay, right?

Your article is the most laughable piece of amateur journalism I've seen, so far. Please keep writing on a regular basis, because I like to laugh a lot!

Where did you ever get it into you're stupid head to write an article so full of shit!

Let me guess, you've never had the experience of fresh, raw, pear juice, or any other juice, washing through your lower bowel?

Of course you haven't, because you probably haven't even had a bowel movement this week, isn't that right Paul?

Let me tell you something.

You that feeling you get when you know something, and a bunch of other people you know, well, they know it too, and together, you all know something that a bunch of other people don't know?

Maybe you belong to a Motorcycle Club? Ever been on a real Motorcycle Paul? It's kinda risky, ya know what I mean?

But until you have, you'll never know what it's like to "belong" to the brotherhood of motorcyclists. You know, all those happy folks you see in the summer riding along on their shiny "Wings" and "Hogs".

Hey, they know something I don't know!

You've probably thought that while you were riding along in your sweaty Ford, scratching your itchy ass from the greasy meal you just had from the greasy spoon diner you just ate at, down the road.

You see Paul, you just don't fucking know anything at all about "juicing" because you've just never fucking done it. It's as simple as that.

Everyone knows that. Anyone who "juices" and reads you're stupid article is going to know it, too. Aren't you embarrassed, Paul, for what you have done?

Oh,by the way, that itching in your ass is parasites, from all the stinking meat you eat.

Have a nice day stupid mother fucker.

R— C—
Toronto, Ontario