Page Three—Ridiculous Infomercial Review

Alzare: 

The Alzare infomercial proves that penis enlargment ads are not just for your Inbox anymore. This program features on-the-street testimonials with some of the stupidest statements ever uttered on an infomercial. Learn exactly why "size matters."

AromaTrim: Get your nose to lose weight for you. Just stick AromaTrim under your nostrils and let it alter your brain chemistry. It's painless! See the infomercial that isn't afraid to blindfold and mock its volunteers.

Poder Sexual: Think Latino TV isn't doing enough to stimulate its audience? This pre-Viagra Spanish infomercial peddles a "100% Natural" aphrodisiac. Dramatizations prove Poder Sexual can both salvage your love life and prevent suicide.

Santo Gold: 

This truly bizarre, low-budget infomercial tries to both sell a gaudy gold jewelry biz-op and promote a "space wrestling" movie called Blood Circus. Features Santo Gold himself singing! Perhaps the strangest infomercial ever broadcast. See 2 Video Clips from the Santo Gold infomercial!

Juiceman: 

A hyperactive and disjointed old man is touted as the picture of good health. By "juicing" you can be just like him. With fervent, nonstop body movements, Jay "The Juiceman" Kordich vouches for the incredible powers of fruit and vegetable juices. See 2 Video Clips of Jay Kordich on the Juiceman infomerical!

Love Avenue: 

Wanna meet all sorts of gorgeous and vacuous people? The infomercial for the Love Avenue date-line flashes images of barely-clothed, sexy bodies and promises that you can date people just like them just by calling. So what are you waiting for...?

Tae Bo: 

Karate champ Billy Blanks' Tae Bo workout is the hottest thing in Hollywood. The endorsement of so many celebrities supposedly makes this exercise regimen more credible. But this infomercial tells us that Blanks is not just concerned with taut and trim bodies: he cares about our "spirit."

Richard Simmons: 

A stage was built in a shopping mall, Richard Simmons showed up to prance around on it, and a crowd of thousands arrived to stare at the fey fitness expert taping his infomercial. One woman has a spontaneous emotional breakdown in Richard's presence.

Home Page: Reviews of Magic Bullet To Go, ExenZe Drink, Magic Bullet, Almighty Cleanse, Dr. Ho, Matthew Lesko, Dual Action Cleanse, Rejuvenique, and ExtenZe on the Home Page.

Page Two: Reviews of Dual Action Cleanse 2, Miss Cleo, Tony Little Gazelle, Tom Vu, Crime in America, Nad's, Alzare, and Cal Pines on Page Two.

Copyright (c) Paul A. Lucas

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