The SlobStopper Lets Adults Wear a Bib!

Some infomercials are so outlandish that people need convincing that the product is real before they will believe that the commercial is not just a joke. Joining the Hawaii Chair, Snazzy Napper, and Tiddy Bear in this category is the SlobStopper, an “adult communiting bib.”

It doesn’t help that the acting and directing in the SlobStopper infomercial look more like a College Humor parody than anything else, but the product is indeed for sale at www.SlobStopper.com. Their website even proudly proclaims, “Bibs Aren’t Just For Babies!”

The SlobStopper commercial may seem dumb at first, but don’t worry: it gets even more nonsensical on repeated viewings.

The embarrassing everyday situation depicted by this infomercial is that of a man sitting in his parked car spilling coffee on himself, causing an attractive female passerby to frown. Then on different day, this suave individual again spills coffee on himself—but this time is wearing a full-length bib, so that same woman smiles instead! You see, her earlier disapproval was only because the man had stained his clothes, not because he is a complete klutz who can’t even manage to drink coffee properly. Either that or she is into baby fetishism and hopes he is wearing diapers.

The other scene depicted here is even more inexplicable. A mom driving a minivan picks up her daughters from soccer practice. One of the daughters quickly grabs something and takes it with her to the back seat. We can’t really make out what the daughter grabbed. This causes the mom in the driver’s seat to make an anxious wince and then drape a SlobStopper over herself. Just what are those girls going to be doing back there that mom is concerned about the front of her clothes getting dirty? Maybe the girl actually grabbed a sledgehammer and they will be smashing watermelons à la Gallagher.

—
An infantilized thank you to reader Al Frank for letting us know about the mind-blowingly stupid SlopStopper commercial!