Ridiculous Infomercial Review Blog

Klee Irwin hates us.

But we love Klee Irwin.

No one has provided more strangeness and hilarity on TV and radio infomercials in a very long time. And unlike such superstars of off-beat infomercials as Tom Vu and Santo Gold, Klee Irwin is still cranking out absurd infomercials like Dual Action Cleanse and Libido-Max today.

Klee has a brand new version of his Dual Action Cleanse infomercial on the air now. (If you have ATN on your cable system you can catch it there.)

When I first saw that there was new version of Dual Action Cleanse I was disappointed because I assumed that nothing could match the ridiculousness of his first crap-fest. But I am happy to announce that this latest addition to Klee’s body of work is almost as weird and laughable as the first!

In fact there is so much there that I am planning on writing a full review of the Dual Action 2 infomercial. (This will be the first time ever that the Ridiculous Infomercial Review has reviewed two versions of the same infomercial.)

I will, however, mention one thing now. I love when one infomercial makes snide references to a rival infomercial. On this latest Dual Action Cleanse infomercial, host James Chappell mentions seeing a competing colon cleanse product on TV and says, “This product claims to follow the biblical prescription for internal cleansing, which by the way I couldn’t find in my Bible.” A clear slap at the 7 Day Almighty Cleanse from “Christian health evangelist” Danny Vierra. Then Klee adds, “Do you really think it’s healthy or comfortable to expel that in a short amount of time like 7 days?”

Fight! Fight!

I’ve uploaded a video montage from the Tony Little Gazelle Freestyle infomercial. See amazing highlights of this infomercial with veteran hostess Darla Haun. Watch as fitness trainer Tony Little pratically humps Darla Haun on the Gazelle Freestyle exercise machine! Listen to Tony Little say BU-TTOCKS! Watch Tony and Darla go cheek to cheek! Hear the cheesy workout synthesizer music! See Darla Haun take her top off (well, sort of)!

I’ve added this video to the bottom of my review of the Tony Little Gazelle. Check it out: Tony Little Gazelle.

Legendary infomercial product company Ronco has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Ron Popeil, the “King of Infomercials,” sold his namesake company for about $55 million back in 2005 to company Fi-Tek VII. Even after the sale, Popeil continued to sell his products through Ronco and serve as the public face of the company. Now Ronco needs protection from its creditors—of which Ron Popeil himself is the largest one! (See these news reports: Ronco, Maker of the Veg-O-Matic, Files for Bankruptcy; Sliced, diced: Ronco in Chapt. 11 )

Hopefully, Ronco will be able to continue operation and continue to give us such wonderful infomercials as the Showtime Rotisserie, Veg-o-matic, Food Dehydrator, and—my personal favorite Ronco infomercial—the GLH9 spray-on hair.

One of my biggest regrets was that I didn’t have to foresight to record the GLH9 spray on hair infomercial when it was originally aired on TV back in the 1990s. About two years ago, the Ronco website made full length video available of several Ron Popeil infomercials, including GLH9. I was going to watch it and write a review, but Ronco suddenly removed it before I had a chance. And I didn’t have the wisdom to save the files to my computer. Foiled again!

Here are some video highlights from Ron’s recent Showtime Six Star+ Knife set infomercial:

In trying to keep score in the Juiceman vs Jack LaLanne debate, you’ll have to give Jack some points for musical ability. (I shudder to think of what Jay “The Juiceman” Kordich would sound like trying to sing.)

On his old TV show, Jack LaLanne would close each broadcast with a song. In the latest version of the Power Juicer infomercial, Jack sings that theme song again, but as a duet with an old video clip, so that the old Jack LaLanne is singing with the young Jack LaLanne (or at least the middle-aged Jack). It’s a bit strange, but not as creepy as singing with a dead person.

Here are the lyrics of the Jack LaLanne song:

It’s time to leave you.
Let’s say goodbye.
These precious moments just seem to fly.
Now here’s my wish for you.
May the good Lord bless
And keep you too.

In the mid-90s, one channel on my cable system showed infomercials 24/7. One of the infomercials most frequently aired on that channel was the one for “José Eber Secret Hair.” On this infomercial the fruity French hair stylist José Eber tried to sell hair pieces for women. They must have aired that thing five or six times a day! One of the funniest things about this infomercial was when José Eber introduced his “good friend Piny,” (pronounced “Pee-nee”) whom José described as one of the hottest hair stylists in Hollywood. The on-screen graphics listed the man’s name as only “Piny.” No last name (or maybe no first name) was given—so I guess Piny was like Cher (and probably liked Cher too).

Recently, the tradition of infomercials hosted by effeminate hairdressers with foreign accents has been kept alive by Masood Max, who has worked as a hair stylist for the Shop at Home network (!) and hosts the infomercial for his Maxiglide hair straightening iron.

Well, José wasn’t going to let his position as the king of limp-wristed foreigners on hair care infomercials get stolen from him! So José Eber now has a hair iron of his very own being sold on TV. Only in José’s case it’s a curling iron. (There was a website with video at JoseCurl.com, but it has been taken down for some reason.) So if you don’t like the straight hair you got from Masood Max’s Maxiglide, you can buy José Eber’s Crimpless Curling Iron and get your old hair style back!

There is, however, a “man” waiting in the wings who could displace both Masood and José in the public imagination. I came across a video on YouTube of a kiosk in a mall in Las Vegas. The video being played on this kiosk features a Danish hairdresser by the name of Yenz von Tilborg pushing a hair straightner called H2PRO:

I think this video is also interesting because Yenz’s co-host is like a slightly less effeminate Bobby Trendy with a skunk patch.

Take a look at this head shot of Yenz.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My eyes!!

Yenz makes Siegfried and Roy look like a couple of Teamsters.

Will somebody please do a kind deed for the world and air this Yenz von Tilborg video as an infomercial on broadcast TV.