Ridiculous Infomercial Review Blog

There is a “short form” infomercial being aired currently that manages to pack more strangeness into 30 seconds than most infomercials can manage in 30 minutes.

This commercial is for a device called Listen Up, which they describe as a “Personal Sound Amplifier.” You can see a video of the TV commercial here. (Unfortunately, the video at this site has terrible picture and sound quality, but I couldn’t find it anywhere else online.)

Basically Listen Up is a hearing aid, but one designed to look like it’s an MP3 player so that grandpa can look hip and cool instead of looking handicapped.

But what is most interesting about the commercial is that they actually encourage people to use Listen Up to eavesdrop on conversations—or “discreetly listen in” as they phrase it in the ad. So we get a woman listening in on her neighbors across the street and a man at the gym spying on two hot chicks. You might have noticed that the people being snooped on in the ad only have nice things to say. “Have you met the new neighbors?…I met him. He seems nice,” says the lady walking her dog. Even more implausibly, the two women at the gym are actually talking about how hot the guy listening in on them is. (Although once they find out he’s the kind of weirdo who uses a hearing aid to spy on people they’ll find him considerably less attractive.) This isn’t the best way to market this feature. No one wants to hear banal compliments. People eavesdrop so that they can hear juicy gossip or catch someone talking bad about them behind their backs.

The other interesting scene is the couple sitting in the pew using Listen Up to better hear the church service. That doesn’t seem like a good idea. This couple is so pious that they want to make sure they can hear the entire sermon—but everyone around them thinks they’re listen to an iPod the whole time! No doubt their fellow congregants will talk bad about the couple behind their backs—but with the Listen Up at least they’ll be able to hear it!

I don’t regularly watch the TV show Ugly Betty—mostly because it sucks. However, I came across it Thursday night while channel surfing. And what did I see but a scene in which Vanessa Williams visits a bedridden Judith Light in the hospital.

Do you see the significance here?

This is a scene featuring both the original host of the Proactiv Solution infomercial (Light) and the current host of the Proactiv Solution infomercial (Williams).

Yes, Guthy-Renker originally tapped Judith Light, best known for playing Angela on the sitcom Who’s the Boss?, to host the Proactiv infomercial. But once the cash started rolling in, they dumped the old, has-been Light and decided to retool the infomercial. The current Proactiv Solution infomercial is hosted by Vanessa Williams, chanteuse and one-time Miss America, and is stuffed to the gills with celebrity endorsements: Jessica Simpson, P. Diddy, Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears.

As I watched the scene between Judith Light and Vanessa Williams, I wondered if anyone else watching recognized this off-screen bond between the two actresses.

I quickly concluded: No, It was probably just me.

Sometimes I come across an infomercial that I think is going to be really hilarious, but then when I get a chance to view the whole program I’m disappointed to find out that it’s just not the laugh riot I hoped it would be. Take for example the Derma Wand infomercial.

Derma Wand is an electric gadget that is supposed to reduce wrinkles and blemishes by “stimulating” your skin. I know from Rejuvenique and Dr Ho that infomercials for electric-based cures are funny. I was hoping for something like the old DermalTone infomercial, where facial muscles would twitch spasmodically while sparks and smoke shot out of the device.

Alas, the infomercial turned out to be nothing like that. Most of the ad for Derma Wand is pretty dull, like a lot of the skin care infomercials. However, there are a few bits that are interesting.

In order to assuage the fears of women that using DermaWand is going to be similar to cutting a live power line and attaching it to your face, the host describes the way the Derma Wand feels on your skin like “Champaign bubbles” and “like hundreds of little fingers patting the surface of your skin.”

Strangely, they also go to great lengths to describe how the Derma Wand smells: “You can actually smell this. It’s like that fresh, after-a-rainstorm smell.”

But my favorite part occurs during what they assure us is a real-life test. They say they took out a newspaper advertisement for women who were considering face-lifts to try the DermaWand. At the end of the trial, the women could either keep the Derma Wand or take $1000 toward their plastic surgery. In a classic infomercial scene, a researcher in a white lab coat hand the ladies 10 fanned-out $100 bills. Each of the women swats his hand away in the exact same manner while uttering some really spontaneous-sounding dialog. Check it out:

For that scene, along with the “Champaign bubbles” analogy, the creators of the Derma Wand infomercial deserve an ERA award.

Ridiculous Infomercial Review reader Dan told us about a very funny video he found online. This is a music video starring the one and only Klee Irwin, host of the Dual Action Cleanse infomercial.

This humorous music video was created from clips of the Dual Action Cleanse infomercial as well as Klee’s recent infomercial for a blood sugar/diabetes product.

I usually find re-edited “funny” videos online to be lame and unamusing, but I think this one really is pretty good.

The credits on this music video read:

Klee Irwin featuring Gary
The Bowel Album
The Bowel Rap
NU KLEE IR(win) records
feldman inc.

I think the “NU KLEE IR(win) records” bit is quite clever.

Anyway here it is:

Perhaps my favorite part is just Klee’s dialog from his blood sugar/diabetes infomercial:

Dude, I’m actually feeling kind of tired and it’s late. Why don’t we go back to my apartment and just flop on the couch. Hey, maybe we can watch Frisbee on TV. Maybe ESPN’s got it playing.

Frisbee on TV? Dude, I got to record that infomercial!

OK, you horndogs. Many people have been inquiring about the identity of fetching girl who hosts the new “Sex Talk” infomercial for ExtenZe pills. One curious person started a thread on the eBaum’s World forum, and a user by the name of Vinny V. came up with some answers.

The name of the ExtenZe hostess is Bridgetta Tomarchio. (I incorrectly reported her name as “Brigitte” in my earlier post, but I caught the ExtenZe infomercial again recently and she does in fact say her name is “Bridgetta.” So I guess I just wasn’t listening hard enough.)

Bridgetta is a former “Miss Hawaiian Tropics” and she seems to getting a lot of work as a spokesmodel. According to her listing in the Internet Movie Database, she was born on Christmas day 1978, once worked as Val Kilmer’s assistant, and is the proud owner of a python, a pit bull, and two Chihuahuas. (I bet the Chihuahuas are nervous with that arrangement!) She appeared with her snake, Isis, in the documentary Beyond the Movie: Alexander the Great.

Bridgetta Tomarchio served as a referee and player for something called the Lingere Bowl. And she hosted a show called Bikini Pool, in which models play billiards while wearing bikinis. Here’s a clip:

Bikini Pool is one program truly destined for an Emmy!

Those of you who complained that the quality of my screenshots of the ExtenZe infomercial weren’t quite up to par will be happy to know that Bridgetta has lots of image galleries online:

IMDB Photo Gallery

Hollywood.com Photo Gallery

DailyCeleb Photo Gallery

And there are quite a few Bridgetta Tomarchio posters available for sale at this website:

Bridgetta Tomarchio Posters

They’ll even sell you a mousepad with Bridgetta’s picture on it!

She apparently has the URL www.bridgettatomarchio.com registered but no website is up yet.

Of course you can also check out my earlier posts to see pictures of Bridgetta hosting the ExtenZe infomercial and a video clip of Bridgetta on the ExtenZe infomercial.